Secrets and Covenants
by Samantha Minuet
Summary: Bella is a headstrong young woman that returns to Forks after a tragedy strikes close to her heart. Only the Forks she left five years ago is gone, replaced by a world of supernatural creatures and dangerous secrets. AU, non-cannon relationships.
1. Arrival

Welcome all to my new story! I'd like to take this chance to call out my co-author Kathryn_518. She's been awesome, helping me figure out where I wanted to go with this story and how to present it. The collaboration has been amazing. This is a very different beast from her story _In Another Life_, which I totally recommend. You can find that story here; **_www dot fanfiction dot net/s/8845655/1/In-Another-Life_**

Title: **Secrets and Covenants**  
Rating: **Mature** - Some heavy potentially disturbing violence, sexual references and situations (no lemons), and course language  
Genres: **Drama**, **Suspense**, **Romance**, F**amily**  
Relationships: **Bella/Alice**  
Canon Status: **Alternate Universe** (heavily altered)

_Copyright Notice: This story uses characters and locations owned by Stephenie Meyer and Little Brown. I have no claim of ownership, and have no interest in reproducing this story contained in the following chapters for personal gain. So no Copyright Infringement is intended... so there!_

* * *

_**Chapter One: Arrival**_

_- Isabella Marie Swan, 17 years old._

_Sunday, September 1st_

_"__I set fire to the rain. __Watched it pour as I touched your face. __Let it burn while I cried. __Cause I heard it screaming out your name.__" - Adele_

Thick September rain fell in rivulets across the fogged up car window. For a second I wished I was out in the downpour, then I could hide the tears actively streaming down my face. I hated crying, but at the moment, I couldn't seem to stop. The tears were coming unbidden despite the company. The numbness I had been enveloped in for nearly two weeks had faded on the plane, replaced by a sense of overwhelming dread. I was returning to Forks, a small town nestled within the Olympic Peninsula in the northwest corner of Washington State. I'd already escaped the rain drenched town once five years ago when my mother Renee married a minor league baseball player named Phil Marlow and settled down in Phoenix.

I would miss Phoenix; the blistering heat, the friendly people, and the blindingly bright blue sky. And I would miss my silly, flaky, and eccentric mother and her harebrained attempts to make a million dollars before her fortieth birthday. I would miss her crazy attempts at cooking, and her goofy stories about the stupid nights of her reckless adolescence. I would miss her voice and her laugh, I would miss her smile and the smell of her hair, I would miss a thousand little things about her. I would miss her every day for the rest of my life. It had been twelve days since the drunk driver plowed into Phil's cherry red Cadillac. I buried her on Sunday and my heart wept. She was a foundation stone of my life and because some fucking moron had too much to drink and got behind the wheel of a car, I would never see her again. I'm not a hateful or vengeful person normally, but as I heard some priest deliver her eulogy, I hoped the sonofabitch that killed her would rot in hell.

It was Charlie's expression when I landed, that sent me over the edge. I really hadn't cried until I saw the look of pain crossed with a touch of pity on his face. Of course it was a reflection, because his grief mirrored my own. Mom divorced Dad pretty early on, but they both felt it wasn't a great idea to move me around too much. Until I was ten. I spent the school year in Forks, and several weeks of my summer vacation with Mom. She would show up with a different car every time, and we'd travel in a random direction until we reached some equally random destination. Like the desert in Maine, or the forbidden gardens in Texas, or Lucy the Elephant in New Jersey, to name a few. It was fun, most of the time. Until we started to run out of money, and we had to stop in some god awful dusty little town somewhere in the rural outback of America. I didn't know what she did to get us going again, but we were never stranded for longer than a couple of days.

Everything changed when she met Phil. It was like the world suddenly righted itself for her, and she never needed to wander again. Until she settled down with him, she never had a place she really called home. She hadn't lived with Dad for years but still listed his house as her permanent address, and still got all her mail sent there. A fact that used to really irritate Charlie. Because she was settled, and I had started to detest Forks I begged Dad to let me move in with Mom. I was almost twelve when he finally relented and I transferred to Phoenix for school that year.

That following summer was the first time I refused to go back to Forks. Instead, Dad and I vacationed in California. The year after, it was Hawaii. The summer after that we went to visit Dad's sister Marie, and her family up in Denali, Alaska. Personally I wondered if it was something genetic that seemed to draw my Dad's family to small remote towns, cursed with constant cold and rain. Talk about a weird summer vacation. It wasn't too bad though. Marie's twin girls were nearly my age and they were both fun to hang out with. Plus there was an odd and incredibly gorgeous family that lived in a giant house on the outskirts of town, and it was fun to imagine what it would be like to be that rich and beautiful.

The following two years weren't nearly as memorable, since Dad's vacation time was shortened because of his promotion to the Chief of Police. I knew that he missed me terribly when I was gone, and the years apart from him were tough on me as well. I just didn't like to think of how much it hurt him to be separated from me. Until one afternoon in July when Mom was working in the garden, and I caught her crying. She covered that she had dirt in her eyes, but I could tell it was time. I'd seen that look on my father's face the last few years when he hugged me goodbye at the airport. In that moment, I realized I could solve both problems with one simple solution; I would move back in with Dad.

I had planned to move back to Forks after winter break. I had it all worked out, I'd decided to broach the subject with Mom after school got started. If I'd done it in the few days after seeing her cry in her garden she'd have known I was doing it for her, and she would've absolutely refused. Cutting off one's nose to spite one's face, was something that seemed to run in her side of the family. I inherited my stubbornness from her and I was sure she wouldn't have let me go, even if it made her happier in the long run. I even practiced having the inevitable argument that I'd have with her. Prepping counters to all her logical objections.

I never got the opportunity.

Callie had helped figure out everything since she was the executer of both Phil and Mom's joint will. I was their sole beneficiary. She'd been mom's best friend for going on six years. I loved her like a crazy aunt, but she was awesome when I needed her most. We laughed, and told stories, and packed. Neither of us could cry though, it was just too close to admitting that she was gone. Phil's family showed up a few days later. Dad couldn't get away from work for the funeral; or at least that's what he claimed. I was pretty sure it was an excuse, since they hadn't spoken face to face since I'd moved to Phoenix.

My luggage was full of cold weather clothes that Callie helped me pick out. Yet I wore a white short-sleeve eyelet lace shirt as a goodbye gesture to the sun, and the life I was leaving behind. That was another thing I'd miss, the sun. Forks was almost always overcast. Cloudy and rainy, wet and green. Endlessly green. I hated the scent of damp trees, it was a scent that triggered some of my worst nightmares, based on half remembered and unhappy memories.

"You call me." She said for the thousandth time. It was the last time we'd see each other for a long time, and it was nearly impossible to say goodbye. Callie behind the wheel was an iffy prospect at best. She seemed to regard signs and lights as vague suggestions. 'The light wasn't red, it was pink,' was a constant refrain after the sound of honking horns. We'd made it to the airport with an hour to spare, just enough time to check in. "I could keep the house for you." I almost said yes, but I could see the sacrifice behind her eyes. I stared at her for a long minute, memorizing her face. It was funny but I'd never noticed that I looked more like her than I did like my mother. That was probably because I got most of my looks from my father, my dark hair and porcelain skin. My eyes were my mother's though, and I also got her smile. Not that I used it as much as she had.

"I can't let you do that, I said we should split the money and I meant it." I had offered her an even split of the profits from the sale of the house, because mom would've loved it. The rest of their estate, including life insurance, was already more money than I knew what to do with.

"Okay… if you really mean it. Say hello to your family for me." I hugged her again, holding her a bit longer than needed. Then I raced through airport security, and to my gate just as my boarding group was called.

The plane trip was tolerable; at least it wasn't filled with annoying people, or crying babies. Either one would have had me eyeing the nearest escape hatch enviously. Since it was a morning flight, almost everyone napped. I listened to music and tried to read, but I was too anxious and miserable. After that four hour flight, there was the puddle jumper to Port Angeles which was barely an hour up and down, and I could practically feel my anxiety level rising with every foot we descended. Then I was cautiously walking down the slippery steps toward the tarmac, where I could just make out Charlie standing stoically in the rain. He had his uniform hat on, complete with the translucent plastic cover to protect the fabric from the elements. From a distance I could just make out the silver of his badge poking through the sheer white vinyl.

We exchanged a single tight hug and I kept my face away from him as the tears began to roll down my cheeks. We didn't speak a word until we got to the car. It was his cruiser of course, which made me frown because I was dreading having him drive me all over town in it. I had already mentally nicknamed it the 'loser cruiser'. My only hope was that he would let me buy the car I wanted, even though it meant going to Seattle. I didn't want to be the one to break the silence, but someone had to say something because the hypnotic blur of green and brown speeding by my window was giving me a slight headache.

"So, I thought I'd look into getting a car. I have some of mom's money already… that would work to pay it off and more than cover insurance for the year." I said half to the wilderness, afraid to look him in the eye. He nodded a little absently. I caught his reflection in the glass of my window, and it made me turn towards him. I tried to wipe my eyes as subtly as possible before looking over.

"Sue's about to sell Harry's old Chevy. You can have it." He glanced at me once as he spoke. I could tell from his expression that I reminded him too much of her. I blinked at the sudden offer. I could clearly remember the black and chrome of the Chevy. The last time I saw it, it had been fully restored and very pretty. I thought back to those sunny afternoons playing in the Clearwater's front yard, while Harry labored for hours waxing and polishing it. Having a water fight with Leah while trying to wash it as a surprise before Harry got home. And the hours in the back seat playing road games with Seth and Leah on the weekly fishing trips with our fathers. I couldn't take it away from his kids though.

"Leah and Seth don't mind?" I asked feeling a little guilty.

"Leah doesn't want it, I think it reminds her of her father. It's hard to tell most days. Not that's she's talking to me anymore." He was baiting me so that he could get something off his chest, but I didn't want to tackle that battle just yet so I ignored the bait.

"What about Seth, he's almost fifteen?" Charlie shook his head, and frowned obviously disappointed I hadn't responded to his unspoken problem.

"He's… angry. I... Seth's always off doing something reckless. Neither of us trust him with a car yet. He also doesn't want anything to do with Harry's stuff. It's like he's trying to avoid facing the fact that his dad is gone." Again he sounded a little overwhelmed, and it occurred to me he hadn't been an active parent in half a decade.

"Hmmm." I didn't want to add more until I'd gotten there. I couldn't be more happy to call Sue my new mother, since she was already like a second mother to me, and in a way she was more of a mother than mine had ever been. Renee was extremely loving, but hardly a role model. Half the time I ended up taking care of her, and more than once I had to be the adult and take care of the bills or pick her up when she got lost. I even picked a fight with Phil to make sure he was the real deal. I decided to stop the conversation before it could get into the nitty-gritty of family issues, and whatever was bothering him about Leah.

"How's the fishing been?" I grimaced. It was all I could think of to change the subject. I'd asked about fishing only a few times before in similar situations, and I was always too transparent.

"Right." He said with a sigh, shaking his head again in minor disappointment. "Well it's been okay." Then he launched into a short lecture on the virtues of fly fishing, I think. I'd heard it all on the trips I went with him when I was little, back before I stopped going. So I sort of zoned him out after a while. I didn't know why the distraction to his favorite hobby always worked but I didn't question it, and the soft drone of his voice actually made the ride easier. The rest of the drive passed by relatively easily, and sooner than I wanted we were at the new house.

The place was bigger than I thought it would be, not a mansion or anything, but very comfortable for a family of five. Dad parked the cruiser on right side of the driveway farthest from the door. There was space big enough for another car next to it. The garage was also spacious enough to fit two cars at least, I wondered idly if Harry's Chevy was in there. I reasoned that the house was possible because of Sue's recently opened law office that was getting a lot of business, and Dad's promotion had given him enough money to live comfortably. I always got a big check every birthday and Christmas, since he was a notoriously bad shopper. I admired Sue for her ability to turn tragedy into something positive. After Harry died she went back school, and passed the Barr exam, while managing a full time job and being a single mother.

Having a good lawyer in town had proven to be a boon she wasn't expecting. We had stayed in fairly constant contact until she married Dad and her life got too busy. She told me that first day she opened was one of the scariest she's ever had, with nearly twenty clients all showing up in a four hour period. I knew it was ranked number three in the top nerve wracking moments in her life, after her first wedding night, and the night she spent alone for the first time after Harry was gone. I was looking forward to reconnecting to her the most, well except for Leah who had once been my best friend.

I hadn't talked with Leah in nearly five years, although I'd spent countless hours playing with her as a kid. Those happy memories were tainted by the fight we had before I left. It had all boiled down to Leah being pissed that I was going away. It was really a one sided fight, since I couldn't blame her for being angry. I did move away, and I did so by choice.

The foyer somehow had the same smell as dad's old house, pine and moss with just the barest hint of dead fish. I tried not retch as I moved into the living room. I felt awkward, this was my new home and I'd never stepped foot in it before. The house was furnished well, with Sue's elegant tastes showing up in little details all over the house. I could tell Dad had very little to say in the decorating. He lead me up the front stairs to my room. It was bigger than my one in Phoenix, and had a nice view of the back yard and the forest beyond. There was nicely finished Jack and Jill bathroom that I would have to share with Leah, and my closet was practically a second room.

Sue had a good memory, I could tell she had picked out the new furniture with my tastes in mind. There was plenty rich dark wood and hints of purple, silver, and blue in the two paintings, ornate objects placed stylishly on surfaces, and some little tchotchkes that made me smile. Sitting on the large mahogany desk was a gorgeous framed picture of my mom. A large monitor dominated the center of the desk, and next to the keyboard was a small silver foil wrapped box tied up with a purple bow. On the big carved wood headboard there was a big dream catcher hanging from the top, and in the far was corner a tall, mostly empty bookcase that had one shelf full of books I loved.

The bed was queen sized, and had new sheets and a big overstuffed purple duvet. Taking it all in made me feel immediately conflicted. This was a room I immediately loved, and it was one I would've ended up with no matter what because I'd told Dad about my plans to comeback back in July. I just couldn't find the right time to break the news to mom. She died never knowing I was going to leave her so that she could be with Phil during his tour of away games. That little hint of guilt seemed to rise up and punch me in the stomach, and made it difficult to stand. So I laid down on the bed, dropping my stuff on the reading chair by the window that looked out over the back yard.

I'd forgotten that Charlie was even there, and glanced back to see he that he hadn't lingered. My mother would've been on the bed with me, brushing my hair with absentminded strokes and humming some half forgotten song she couldn't get out of her head. For a moment I could almost feel her hand circling the small of my back, something she did to calm me down when I was sick or upset. I cried, off and on for a couple of hours lost in memories and reminisces, until Leah and Seth came home from school. Dad checked on me a couple of times without intruding, it reminded me how much I loved him.

I heard a short exchange downstairs, then someone came rushing upstairs. I listened as whoever it was paused at the top of the stairs, and then walked slowly down the hallway to my room. Then there was another short pause before a hesitant knock. I wiped my tears in a useless attempt to hide the fact that I'd been crying, before answering, and sat up wrapping my duvet around my shoulders. "Come in."

Leah stood in the doorway looking pensive, with an ever so slight scowl on her pretty face. "Hey sis." She smirked, and I frowned at the sarcasm.

"Hey. Been too long." Seeing her again reminded me why Leah had been one of my closest friends along Angela, Jessica, Olivia, and Lauren. Last I'd heard she was dating someone named Sam, and it had ended very badly. I looked at her for a long moment, and tried to express how sorry I was. She frowned at me, her smug smile turned into a frown.

"Ugh, you too. I don't know what Charlie told you but it's none of your business." She snapped at me, clearly irritated. Her anger was lost on me, so I tried to give her a look that would make her understand that I was out of the loop. After a moment of examining my face to determine whether I was having fun at her expense, her frown lessened, and then she shook her head at me.

"Oh, you really have no idea. I'm sorry." She looked ashamed, so I gave her a warm smile to placate her. The gesture was probably ruined by my puffy and bloodshot eyes. The edges of my lips twitched a little, smiling still felt a little weird.

"Close the door, tell me what's going on." She hesitated a moment before she obeyed my request, and shut the door gingerly. Then she set my bag on the floor and plopped down into the chair by the window.

"I have honestly no idea where to start." She said clearly relaxing. The static between us was suddenly gone, and it was like no time had passed at all. The easy way we could just be in each others presence returned. I shrugged in response, I wasn't sure what to suggest.

"At the beginning? Or not." She chuckled, and looked down at her hands.

"I assume you heard about Sam?" I nodded once, then she continued, "Okay, do you remember Emily?" Again I nodded, she was Leah and Seth's first cousin who lived a few hours away. Emily had visited enough that I'd gotten to know her a bit better than passing.

"Well Sam left me for her. The thing that kills me is we were good. I mean really close to being long term. So Sam goes away for a week, and comes back different. I mean… weird. I don't know how to explain it. Then Emily came to visit and the moment they took a single look at each other it was over. Suddenly I'm left behind. I still don't know what happened. I was totally blindsided, and I can't stop feeling angry all the time because of it." She did sound angry, but it was the kind of anger that came from true sadness and hurt. I could tell that she loved this Sam, no matter what the reasons were for the break up, I was on Leah's side. I got up and sat on one of the arms, pulling her into a hug, which surprised her a little, but she seemed happy to have the support.

"If he can't see how awesome you are, then he doesn't deserve you." I knew it was a platitude, but it was the best I could do. She pulled away suddenly, wiping tears from her eyes.

"She. Sam's a she." She said timidly. I blinked a few times in shock, then smiled at her.

"Sam, short for Samantha I imagine?" Leah nodded once. "Well than _she_ doesn't deserve you." The look on her face spoke volumes. I returned to the bed, and pulled my knees up to my chin. It was nice to think about stuff that had nothing to do with my pain. It made me regret retreating from Charlie's need to talk earlier.

"I thought you were still pissed off over the fight we had before I left, and maybe because Dad talked about giving me the Chevy." I felt a little stupid assuming what her issues were, but I was glad she wasn't angry at me.

"I got over you leaving a long time ago. I realized that you needed to spend time with your mother, so there's nothing be worried about. Oh god, I'm so selfish. I'm sorry." Her eyes flew open as she realized that we hadn't mentioned my mother yet. I shook my head at her sudden shame.

"Don't worry about it. I'm cried out, and I need to think about something else for a while." She gave me a sympathetic smile, I could tell she knew exactly what I meant.

"Okay, if you're sure. I don't mind talking about it if you need someone." I nodded a thank you, genuinely touched she would offer.

She paused for a moment, then continued, "I honestly don't give a rat's ass about the car. I kind of hated the boat, sometimes it felt like he loved it more than us. No, that's not fair, I know he loved us, but sometimes... anyway I have a Toyota that I love quite a bit, thank you very much. And mom's been trying to off load the beast for over a year now. If you like it, then I'm more than happy for you to have it." She was masking well, and her sympathy covered her pain to a degree, but I could tell there was something she was holding back. I wasn't sure I should push, but I couldn't let her deal with pain alone, not after she offered to be my shoulder to cry on.

"What aren't you telling me? Is it something to do with Sam?" I asked tentatively. She sighed, and closed her eyes for a moment. A couple of tears fell down her cheeks, and she pulled out a tissue to blow her nose a couple of times. Then drew in a deep breath and looked at me, stealing herself up for something.

"I, you don't know how much it means that you accept me. Charlie doesn't accept my choices. Mom tries, but she doesn't really know how to handle my sexuality. It's like this massive cloud hanging over my head, and it feels like I'm just a burden lately. I don't think they want me around anymore." She sounded like her world was falling apart. I looked at her horrified. I couldn't believe my father would be so intolerant. I moved back to the chair and pulled her into another hug, and this time squeezing tightly to let her know I was someone she could trust and would never reject her.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry. I'll yell at him later. You're not getting kicked out as long as I have anything to say about it." I said feeling an indignant anger that tempted me to storm downstairs that very second.

"You don't have to do that." She said sounding worried.

"You don't have to be afraid. I mean I went through something similar a while ago." I said directly, feeling the need to display confidence so that she could feel better about herself.

"You're a _lesbian_?" She asked as if the word was a curse.

"Not exactly. I'm bisexual. I had a boyfriend for a while, Michael. I thought I was in love with him, and began to get intimate, until he figured out he was gay. So it got pretty awkward very quickly. I was hurt, but not as badly as I thought I would be. So I started to wonder if maybe I liked girls more. That's when I realized I was into both. I had a girlfriend for a while, she's actually the reason I'm not dead, we were breaking up when the crash happened." I felt that pang of guilt again, for the thousandth time.

I paused and held my breath for a heartbeat, pushing down any unwanted feelings. The last thing Leah needed was to hear about my irrational survivors guilt. I started up again, ignoring Leah's curious expression. "Last spring, when I came out to my Mom she was floored, but totally supported me. It was one of the few times I've been proud of her, but Phil didn't understand, at first."

"What changed his mind?" She was staring at me intently.

"Mom, she talked at him until he understood. She is…was like a force of nature when she wanted something, or was trying to get a point across. She had a lot of power, and nothing was quite the same after she was done. I had to stand there holding in laughter for an hour as she lectured him." I couldn't help but smile at the memory.

"Wow, that's awesome." She gave me a slightly awestruck smile, but I could tell she had some mixed feelings about my story.

"I know, I..." I felt another surge of grief flow up from my throat strangling my words. I stopped the tears though.

"I am sorry about before. I thought Charlie would've told you. You know, he frowns whenever I mention her, it's almost like she doesn't exist in his eyes. I haven't even said Sam's full name for months. Do you really want to get in the middle of this?" I could tell she was desperate, so I nodded a couple of times emphatically. "I don't know what to say." Her face finally lifted out of the scowl, and a she beamed a hopeful smile at me.

"Don't worry about it. Leah I'd do anything for you. You're still one of my closest friends, and I'm actually proud to think of you as a sister. I know I hurt you when I left, but I never abandoned you. Not in my heart." Another platitude, but one I felt passionately about. I was absolutely loyal to my friends. Leah sniffled a few times, and blew her nose again. Then she dried her eyes and looked back at me with such gratitude that it was hard to take. "Don't you dare say thank you." I warned.

"Alright." She moved to get up so I stood with her. Then she gave me another hug, and started to leave. "I need a bit of time to think, could you get me when mom gets home?" I nodded once, and she headed out of the room. For the first time since mom died I felt almost human. I never thought dealing with someone else's problems would make things feels so much better.

Once she was holed up in her room I ventured downstairs and searched for my father. He was in the garage, tinkering with his still. A year or so before I moved to Phoenix, someone had given the still to him as a present and discovered that he thoroughly enjoyed trying to brew beer as a hobby. It was obvious he'd put a little more money into the still since I'd left to live with Mom. It seemed to have tripled in size since the last time I'd seen it, and now it took up almost half the garage. The Chevy occupied the rest of the space, which made everything feel a little cramped. I was mildly surprised it still looked as clean and well maintained as it had been when Harry was alive.

"I talked to Leah." I said tonelessly. He stopped what he was doing, and set down the socket wrench he was using to tighten the frame for the fermentation rig.

"Can I explain?" He replied without turning around. Although he did straighten up.

"Sure, I'm not sure what you can say though." I kept my voice flat, but I shook my head at him, even though he couldn't see me do it.

"Harry asked me to protect them, and I betrayed him by falling in love with Sue. I think I've been in love with her for a long time, I just couldn't admit it." He sounded broken, and his head slumped a little as if he had already given up his internal struggle.

"The car, you've been keeping it up to honor Harry?" I guessed.

"Yeah. I don't know how to be a good husband and father, and still honor my friend. It feels like I'm always second guessing myself." He finally turned around, and he looked horrible. He was a wreck, and my indignant anger faded immediately.

"Look, all she needs is acceptance. You could try to be someone that she can trust, if you can't be her father. If you think Harry wouldn't have liked her choices, toss those bitter reminders of intolerance away and make up your own mind about how you feel." I tried to sound at least a little sympathetic but I needed to know how he really felt.

"That's just it, I don't know how I feel. I mean I want her to be happy, but she's choosing a hard life, one where she might never be treated fairly, or have kids. It feels like if I don't try and fight for her to have a normal life no one will." I frowned at his ignorance, but respected his desire to help.

"It isn't a choice, it kind of just is. I can't help that I like girls, I just do." I said leveling a very serious look in his direction. It took a moment for him to absorb what I'd said, but when he did his eyes widened slightly and his mouth fell open a hair.

"Wait… wha….I... I... I'm sorry?" He stumbled over his apology. I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't sure what he was apologizing for; the unintentional insult or if was he pitying my sexual orientation too.

"What do you mean." My voice came out as hiss. I could feel anger already building.

"You're a les..." He started to say, when I detected the accusation in his tone I turned away from him without another word and stormed out of the garage. "Wait, Bella! I'm sorry." He shouted as he followed me into the house. I stopped in the kitchen and leaned forward into the butcher-block top of the island. My knuckles turning white from the pressure I was placing on the wood. "Would you look at me?" He said sternly. I stood firm. After another minute he grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.

My eyes met his, and I could tell he see my rage very clearly, not that I was bothering to hide it. I had suffered through two weeks of being in a fog, and a whole day of dealing with pent up emotions over my mother. I could almost feel myself building up to a breaking point like mercury rising dangerously high in a thermometer. I was ready to lash out at something in the worst way. Unfortunately for my father, he was about to get a lecture no matter what he said.

I held out my finger, which ended up directly under his chin as I started to rant loudly in his face. "Why? You're apparently so wrapped up in your own guilt, and your own worries about what Harry may or may not approve of, that you can't see it's hurting the people around you. You've got one daughter thinking that you don't want her around. Yes, she's your daughter now. You've got another daughter that's been here less than twelve hours who's now so pissed that she's ready to turn around and head back to Phoenix and stay with Callie through graduation. You've got a son, who is from what you tell me, angry at the world. And I can't help but notice this guilt didn't stop you from banging their mother!"

His eyes narrowed in a scowl, and I inwardly winced slightly. Maybe I went a little overboard with the last comment. In some ways Dad was like me, hard to rile, but when he did lose it, hit the decks.

Rather than let give him a chance to respond, since I knew he'd jump on the comment about Sue, I kept him on the defensive. "So what if Leah's gay? So what if I'm bisexual? Does that makes either of us less worthy of your love? Leah's upstairs nursing a broken heart and you can't get over this pity party you're throwing for yourself long enough to be a damn father. Something she _needs_ right now. Something I wouldn't mind having right now. A family which is supposed to love you unconditionally. If you've got a problem with any of that, let's have it out, right the fuck now." I accentuated those final few words to make a point.

His eyes widened at my tirade, especially because with every point I'd made I'd taken a step forward, forcing him to back up against the fridge. He swallowed visibly and I could almost see the light click on over his head.

His voice was apologetic and grew in strength as he spoke. "I'm… sorry… I didn't think…" He squared his shoulders a little bit. "I need you to understand something. I don't care if you're a lesbian. I'll do whatever you need me to so that you understand that. I'll go to any stupid support group you'd like, I'll march in whatever parade, I'll go out into the middle of the street and shout that I love my gay daughter. I just don't want you, or Leah to think you can only be one way. I just want you to keep your mind open so you don't regret your choices."

"What about your need to honor Harry?" I asked him worried that his change of heart was just a bit too quick to be believable.

"Fuck Harry. I didn't realize how big of a dick I was being until now.. I... should go up and apologize to Leah about Samantha. I can hear your mother lecturing me now about how I've acted." He sounded genuine, and his excuse made sense. I had no doubt that he loved me, and if he was sincere I could easily forgive him for being indecisive.

"Yeah, I told Leah about how she did that to Phil." I said looking down at my feet.

"I'll send her down to explain about the car, she's the only one that can get her started." I looked up at him confused.

"I clean her, she keeps the engine running." He explained.

"Oh, that's... she told me she didn't care about the car." I said suddenly worried that she really did want the car, but was too proud to admit it.

"If you like I'll ask her?" He said as I shook my head.

"No, I'll get it out of her when she explains things." I gave him a tight smile and pushed past him to the garage. I could feel his eyes on me as I left the room, but he turned towards the stairs instead of following me again.

I sat in the car for a long time getting the feel of her, trying to think of a good name. Leah startled me half an hour later when she got into the passenger's side and hit the garage door opener.

"If we're going over stuff, let's go and get her filled up. The station isn't far." I nodded and buckled up. "Thank you. I don't know what you said, though I did hear muffled shouting through my bedroom door, but I've never seen him like that."

"I just said that if he has a problem with you, then he has a problem with me. That opened his eyes a bit." I kept my eyes on the road, but gave her a small smile.

Leah looked at me, "Whatever you said, I can't tell you what…."

"I said no need to thank me, and I meant it." I cut her off seriously.

"Gotcha. So, Dad never named her, he was strange about stuff like that. She's temperamental sometimes too, but if you treat her right she'll last you forever." I smiled at that, it sounded like Harry. After a moment she continued. "The gear shift sticks in neutral a little so you have to shove it through the H. The clutch needs to be double pumped or it won't register, don't bother with forth gear, and you need to fill her up with mid-grade since that's what dad always used since he bought her in 83'. She also needs real oil, never synthetic." I stared at her feeling a touch overwhelmed.

"That all?" I asked sardonically.

"I think so. Oh yeah, the trunk will always smell like that so don't bother trying to clean it. I think dad left a cooler of fish in there for a month once and the stench permeated into the metal." She explained with a bit of a grimace.

"Lovely." I didn't try to hide the disgust in my voice.

"I know right." She grinned widely.

"So, spit it out. Do you want the car or not, I won't be upset either way. I have enough money for something else." She looked away, but I could see her frown in the glass of her window. I lingered for a second too long, but didn't lose sight of the road.

"I love this car, but it isn't mine. I could never drive her, I'd feel like dad was judging me every time I went over a pothole wrong. So no I don't want her, but I'd love to maintain her for you." I risked a glance at her again, and I could tell she was being absolutely serious.

I took her at her word, and didn't mention it again. We got home about an hour before Sue was due, and we ended up talking about Samantha and my ex-girlfriend Jocelyn in the kitchen. Again it was as if no time has passed since we were together, and as we talked I felt a new kind of happiness begin to form in the hole left by my mother. I had a family still, and they were people that I already loved. Charlie stayed in garage, he had a new batch of beer that he said would be his best ever. I was dubious, but Leah assured me that he was probably right. Then when he was out of ear shot, reaffirmed it, but said it was because he had yet to make any that was remotely drinkable, so pretty much anything he made would be an improvement.

Seth showed up about ten minutes before dinner. Charlie gave him a reproving glare as he nearly passed me by without saying hello. He gave me a halfhearted wave and a slightly fake smile before running up to his room. I glanced at Leah with a worried expression, she just shook her head.

"He's been like that since dad died. We've all given up, I think he just needs to work through it on his own." She said sounding a little defeated. I nodded a couple of times, wondering if maybe an outsider like me could help.

Sue showed up shortly after Seth had come back down stairs. She looked tired, but very happy to see me. She set her briefcase down, and made her way over to me directly.

"Welcome home Isabella." Sue said pulling me into a tight hug. I closed my eyes and took in her scent, I'd forgotten just how much I loved her.

"She prefers Bella now." Charlie interjected before I could say anything.

"Well Bella, how does it feel to be back?" She asked pulling away.

"I'm not sure yet, but I think I'm glad to be here." I said trying to smile.

"That's fair. So how do you like the car?" She asked looking hopeful.

"I love it. I think it's perfect." I gave her a real smile.

"So Pizza?" Charlie suggested, and the room groaned.

* * *

That night I was relieved that I didn't have the urge to cry. There were so many things that were crisscrossing through my brain, that I had to lie down to calm my chaotic thoughts. I wondered what was going to happen at school, and whether or not my friends would accept me after leaving them behind. I turned over my conversations with Leah and Dad a few times too.

The room was cold, and I could feel the night pressing in against the darkened glass of the window looking out over the forest. Shivering slightly, I wrapped myself up in my overstuffed duvet, and shuffled over to the computer. It took a few minutes to boot up, and when it did I found that Charlie hadn't even tried to set it up. It took another hour or so patching and updating, but then everything was set up the way I liked it. Then I hooked up my Gmail to Thunderbird and downloaded my messages.

I hadn't checked e-mail since the crash, and I took a deep breath as I opened up the client. There were several, most from friends saying goodbye, and one from mom written the morning she died. With a slightly trembling hand I clicked it open.

_"Sweetie, just wanted to let you know we're headed out to Doug's housewarming party anyway. I know things are going badly with Joy, but I know you'll it work out. So, Phil just got an offer from Jacksonville, and I think it would be a great change for us. We won't be home for dinner, so I left some money for you to have delivery or something. If you need me, call Phil. I know, I know. I'll look into getting a cell soon, I promise. I love love you. - Mom." _

I read it five times, trying to hold in the tears but breaking every time I got to that last line. All the heartache that had been healed by coming here so far had been dashed. All I wanted was to go back to that day. I thought about it for a long time, about everything I wanted to say. So I pressed reply and started to write.

_"So you died a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I ever told you how I felt, not really. I love you Mom, more than I can really explain. __It's just, you were never my mother. I know that's harsh, but I can't lie about it anymore.__ I think you always meant well, but sometimes you didn't act like my mother. I don't hold it against you, because I knew you loved me with everything you had. I just wish I hadn't needed to be the grown up so often. Phil was a good choice for you, and I knew you were hurting because you couldn't be with him. So I was going to leave, move back in with Dad and spend the rest of high school in Forks. I'd already asked Dad a couple of months ago, and Sue even set up a room for me in their new house. I swear I wasn't trying to abandon you. I just… wanted you to be happy. Now…I... miss you, so much. I hope you're in a good place, and that you're with Phil. I'll try to do the best I can for you, and I'll never forget you. But I can't grieve anymore, I can't be trapped by your memory every second of the day. I need to move on, and I need you to be okay with that. I'm sorry that I have to leave you behind. I guess that's it. I love you mom, and I will always keep you in my heart. Love love, Isabella."_

I sent the message into the ether, hoping somehow she might get it. I wiped my tears and blew my nose, and sniffed at the message sent dialog box until is faded. Then I shut off the computer, emotionally spent. I was about to get up and head back to bed, I was so tired and nervous about the next day, but the silver box I'd noticed earlier caught my attention. I picked it up and turned it over in my hand, and found that it weighed almost nothing. It was about four inches by four inches, and the wrapping paper was folded into the lid, so all I had to do was untie the purple bow to get to what was inside.

I set it down and stared at it for a long time, trying to decide if I wanted to wait until I was in a better mood so I could enjoy the gift a bit more. After dithering for a long moment I held down one edge and pulled on the ribbon. It unwound easily. Then I gently lifted the lid off the box base. Inside was purple tissue paper wrapped around something solid. I pulled out the bundle, and then held onto an edge of the thin paper so that the object could unroll into my other palm. The polished surface of the of the necklace chain glittered from the lamp light creating the illusion of a silver waterfall. Then an oval locket, also made of silver plopped on top of the coiled nest of the chain that had curled up in my hand.

I glanced at the embossed face of the locket and tensed up, I had a feeling I knew what was inside. I looked up at the smiling picture of my mother only a foot away from my hand, and rubbed my teeth back and forth in apprehension. With one trembling finger I opened it slowly, and found a small version of my favorite family photo inside. It was the three of us, before they divorced. I couldn't have been older than two at the time, and we seemed so happy. Not even a month after that photo was taken, Mom filed for separation.

I snapped it shut and examined the face of it again, running my finger over the relief of a phoenix. When I was little, she loved to tell me fantastical stories of elves and heroes, dragons and monsters. Her favorite was the phoenix, a creature birthed in flame that could return to life from its own ashes. It was probably the reason she moved there in the first place. I pulled my hair back and fastened the chain around my neck, and then tucked it under my shirt. Promising her that I would never take it off as I kiss my fingers and touched them to her picture.

I felt so drained, and I wanted the day to end. So I got up I dragged the duvet back onto the bed, and snuggled under its warmth. Before I knew it I had fallen into a deep sleep.

My dreams were weird, filled with running and things chasing me. The oddest part was the presence I felt lingering around the edges, it felt dark and evil. Like a monster waiting for me, taunting me into a blind terror. I tried to run from that presence, but no matter how far I went it was always just over my shoulder, laughing at me.

I woke up in a cold sweat, the digital read out of the alarm clock blinked 12:00 again and again. I'd forgotten to set it. This sent me into a minor panic, afraid that I'd overslept. Until I noticed the sky outside was still dark. I moved over to the window facing the back yard and opened it to the cool autumn air. The rush of chill focused me, and pulled me away from the nightmare.

I felt a swell of excitement for the first time in a long time. I understood the idea of "_The Undiscovered Country_" in that moment. It was laid out before me, like the beginning of a quest full of wonders and fears. I stared at the lone tree in the back yard, so close to the forest that lay at the edge of the property. Yet it was alone, a silent sentinel stretching over the grass like a protective parent. My mind wandered, to the nightmares, and to the feelings circling around my head like hungry vultures. Would I be able to find a place here? Or would this place eat me alive?

A sharp gust of wind blew into the room, sending another chill down my spine. It felt like an omen, and suddenly I was frightened of the night. I shut my window and crawled back into bed, hoping it was just a lingering bit of nightmare clouding up my rational mind. Tentatively I began to shut my eyes, remembering at the last moment to set my clock against my cell phone. Then I fell back into that darkness, hoping that the next day would be a brighter one.

* * *

**Post Script Notes:**

**1. If you haven't guessed by now this is a very different take on Twilight. I will _not _be following canon personalities, relationships, or even story lines. Even my vampires and werewolves have their own rules.  
**

**2. There will be some very heavy content in the next few chapters, some of it goes to a very dark place. There's a reason this story is rated M. **

**3. Because there are quite a few new characters, a good chunk of the next few chapters will have a lot of conversations/exposition. That isn't to say there won't be drama... because there absolutely will be.**

_**4. Kathryn's Author's note: This is an entirely different story than our first collaboration. I'm lucky enough that she let me have input. We may be slow going, but this is a story that will have depth and some fun moments too. It starts off far different than Canon. Soooo, toss the book out the window as we drive down the highway, and see how far we go before we run out of road!**_

**5. Hey stop throwing stuff while I'm driving, I'll ****like crash or something. **

**6. (Updated 6/2/13) - From this point forward the story will be radically different from the previously posted version. Re-posted chapters are in fact mostly, if not totally new. **

**7. I'm looking forward to reading any feedback, questions, critiques, and criticism... I appreciate all reviews/comments.**

**Next Up: Chance Meetings** - Bella's first day of school, where she meets some new friends and gets reacquainted with some old ones. She even makes a couple of enemies.


	2. Chance Meetings

_**Author's Note: (Chapter Updated 6/2/12) Despite the beginnings of this chapter, it is important for many reasons to re-read this one because there are several important changes made to it. Please check the Post Script notes for more details.**_

* * *

**_Chapter Two: Chance Meetings _**

_- Isabella Marie Swan, 17 years old_

_Monday, September 2nd_

_"It can't rain all the time." - Jane Siberry_

I hit snooze three times. Enough that Sue had to call up to me to wake me. I tried the bathroom door and walked in on Leah in the shower. She screeched, and I backed out feeling horrible.

"Sorry, totally forgot we shared." I said feeling like an idiot again. The water turned off a few minutes later, by then I was hopping from foot to foot in an attempt to keep my bladder from bursting.

She popped her damp head into my room and when she saw my apologetic expression she grinned. "Hey it's better than Seth doing it. I'm done."

She was still wrapped in a towel as I followed her into the very warm, steam filled bathroom. As she disappeared through her door, I was relieved to know that she didn't think I was trying to sneak a peek, or god forbid, hit on her. Leah was attractive but that would just be awkward. I locked the door after her, then showered, dressed, and headed downstairs, still groggy. The coffee almost gone, and Leah was pouring herself a cup. I frowned, looking around at the spread of stuff on the island. Bagels, lox, cream cheese and jam, scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and fruit salad. Seth wasn't there, and I wondered if that was a common thing.

I watched as Leah drained the last of the sweet precious nectar into a travel mug, then I stared at the empty pot totally frustrated.

"Sorry." Leah said without seeming too sorry, perhaps a minor bit of revenge for me walking in on her shower. I pouted at her. None of the people in the house knew how close they were to death at that moment. I've been likened to a grumpy bear if I didn't get my morning coffee, plus I had been in martial arts since I was six years old so if it was a fight over coffee (which I regularly referred to as life's blood), I was pretty sure that none of them stood a chance. In Phoenix it was one thing that my mom always had ready for me in the morning, unless she planned a trip to Starbucks before school.

"I bet." I said sardonically.

"Girls, no fighting." Sue scolded absently as she looked over a legal brief. She already looked tired, and I was a bit worried about her.

"Not at all, do you need a ride in?" I asked Leah, she shook her head and headed out the door munching on an improvised bagel sandwich.

"So where are the boys?" I asked feeling a need to talk. We hadn't had much of a chance the night before.

"Your dad's at work. Seth is either up in his room or already gone. There's no point in checking anymore." She frowned and there was resignation in her voice as she let out a little sigh, but still didn't look up. It was clear that Seth's distance was a sore point with her and there was even a trace of bitterness in her expression. I could only guess that she was tired from trying to reach out to him and running into a wall again and again.

"Thanks for the locket." I clutched it beneath my shirt, in an unspoken acknowledgement of how much I loved it.

"Actually your dad picked it out. I swear he just pretends to hate shopping." She actually looked up long enough to give me a wide smile, before returning to her work.

"I think you're working too hard." That got her attention, she looked up and cocked her head at me.

"Yeah, how did you come to that?" She asked a little incredulously. I couldn't blame her, I'd been back in the house for less than twenty four hours and I was telling her she was working too hard.

"You look tired." I felt a little tactless, but those are one of the dangers of me in the morning without my coffee. Besides, worry trumps tact in my book.

"I'm pregnant." She said without preamble. I stared at her in shock, I hadn't thought about the fact that they were newlyweds, well sort of. She was getting close to forty, and this was really their last chance for another child. She seemed to be watching me very closely for a reaction, her work forgotten temporarily.

"Wow, congratulations." I said after recovering from the shock. I beamed at her, moved around the island and gave her a big hug. I knew that she would remember my reaction, no matter what it was. And even though I was caught off guard, I was determined to make it a good one. Besides, I was honestly happy for her... and my father.

There was a long pause while she returned the hug before she said in a voice laden with emotion, "Thank you sweetie, it means a lot that you're happy about this." I pulled away and frowned, I didn't realize that she was afraid to tell me. She looked like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders and that fact alone seemed to take some of her tiredness away.

"I love you, I always have. I may give my dad a hard time about a lot of things, but the two of you together are not one of them. I can't wait to meet my little... sister... brother?" I tried to convey how much she meant to me, and from her expression I could tell I was successful.

"We don't know quite yet, and I'll be happy with ten fingers and toes. You should get going though. We'll talk some more tonight. I'm really glad you're back, I missed you." She said almost pushing me out the door.

"I missed you too." I kissed her on the cheek and quickly improvised a breakfast sandwich much like Leah's, before rushing out the door. My hope was that I still had enough time to go to Starbucks or something on the way into school, because I was sorely in need of caffeine.

Madeline, as good a name for a car as any, was surprisingly cooperative and started up on the first try. Then I stalled halfway out of the driveway. I felt like an idiot, at least there was no one watching there. Unless Sue was at the window having herself a good chuckle. I felt a chill at the thought of doing the same thing in the school parking lot.

The ride was smooth, and I felt kind of cool driving something so iconic. Then I turned on the radio for a distraction, and found that Leah or Dad's taste in music was... odd. I fiddled with the pre-sets a little before pulling into the only coffee place in town. I got to the door and nearly blew a gasket. There was a small sign just below the posted hours, obviously printed on a DeskJet, that read:

**_Beverages containing caffeine will not be served to minors._**

I started to scowl at the ridiculously patronizing sentiment, totally convinced that somehow I had fallen asleep in Forks and woken up in hell. Either that or there was some grand conspiracy to get me to commit homicide this morning. My first day at school and no coffee? I'm not sure there was any other possible explanation.

Then I spotted Olivia Thorne inside sipping from an oversized mug. She was still as pretty as I remembered, with her milky skin, high cheek bones, wide hazel eyes the shape of perfect almonds, and thick black hair that she managed to tame into a mane of curls and style. She was one of the five, our once close nit group of friends that I had left behind. Or at least we used to be friends. Five, nearly six years, is a long time for people our age.

I went in with as confident an air as possible, guessing that no barista was going to card me. I was ready to say hello to Olivia when she glanced up at me and then back down to the magazine she was reading. I felt marginally offended, until recognition registered on her face. Her head flew up, and we locked eyes for a second before she shrieked a little and launched herself at me. I'd forgotten how exuberant she could be.

She threw her arms around me, and gave me a big hug. "Isabella! I can't believe you're back!" I couldn't help but smile, even though I was thoroughly embarrassed.

"Glad to see you Livy." I said quickly. She drew back, her expression turned deadly serious, and then gave me a once over, as if she were inspecting me to make sure I still fit into her clique. I had tried to be fashionable when Callie and I went shopping down in Phoenix, but it was hard to gauge what would be popular in the armpit of Washington State. After her inspection was over she gave me another wide smile and hugged me again. This time it was a bit warmer, and I knew the inspection was just her way of being silly.

"Did I pass?" I asked with a little more than a passing interest.

"Yup. Actually I think you might be a little too fashion forward for the school. Well, except for the Cullen's." She said off hand, as if I had a clue who they were.

"That's good, I think. You need a ride to school? I'm just here for some coffee." I asked, in an opening attempt to mend fences.

"That'd be great. I usually walk in." She turned to pick up her bag.

"So what's up with the sign? Was the town invaded by coffee hating Nazi's?" I asked heading for the counter.

"Don't ask. It's a town council thing. No one bothers enforcing it though, so don't worry about it." She said as if it was truly unimportant information. I shrugged, since I didn't care either way. I was just happy I could get my caffeine infusion.

"Could I get a triple-grande-dark-chocolate-mocha with a shot of raspberry." The twenty-something girl behind the counter nodded once, rang me up and starting making my coffee. I turned to Olivia and then leaned up against the counter. "You still friends with Jess and Lauren?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could manage.

"Not since Lauren lost the braces, grew boobs, and became a bitch. Jess is still marginally nice, but totally on a popular power trip. Angela and I try to keep our distance most days, speaking of which, she's been talking about you for days. Your dad told her dad about you coming back last week at church."

"So you know?" I asked hesitantly.

"Know? Know what?" She shook her head and frowned slightly.

"My mother died a couple of weeks ago" I said flatly, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. Her frown quickly changed into a sympathetic grimace.

"I'm so sorry. I remember you talking about your summer trips, they sounded like so much fun." She said kindly.

"They were." I said with a hint of longing. Those were my favorite memories of her, and it was nearly impossible to keep my emotions in check. I felt the itch of tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I took a deep breath and managed to close the floodgates, for a while at least. I'd promised myself that I wouldn't grieve anymore.

"I wish I'd had a chance to meet her." She said softly with a slightly distant smile, making it obvious she was trying to reassure me without rubbing salt in the wounds.

"Thank you, I mean it. I'm pretty sure she would've liked you…" I measured my words carefully so that they didn't spark too much pain. The livewire of my grief may have been turned off, but a random current could still run through it very easily. I trailed off and looked around quietly hoping the lack of eye contact would urge her to shift to another topic. When neither one of us spoke after a moment I interjected. "So, we should probably get going."

"Oh sorry, you probably don't want to talk about it. So, how're you adjusting now that you're back?" She looked guilty at forcing me through those emotions, so she quickly shifted her tone back to its usual brightness.

"I think I'm doing okay, still kind of making that adjustment. Ask me again at the end of the day I may have a better answer for you. Sorry to hear about Lauren and Jess, if you don't mind, I'll hang out with you guys then." She gave me a big smile again, and did a little hop for joy.

"That's awesome, Angela will be thrilled. Jess will probably try to rope you into her group though." She sounded as if that was like selling your soul. I chuckled, I wasn't sure which group I wanted to be in. But I knew that Angela had been the nicest person I'd ever met back when we were all close. If she was no longer hanging out with Jessica and Lauren, there had to be a reason. Either Angela had changed, or more likely, they had.

My coffee order came up, and we headed out towards my car. She gave Madeline an approving nod, and practically skipped around to the passenger side door. That's when I heard the engine pulling around the bend, turning hard onto Main Street. The powerful car took the corner far too quickly, reducing it to barely a dark red blur. I stared after it for a moment, because for some reason the roar it made caused a chill to run up and down my spine. I got in once the mystery car disappeared around a corner. I handed my coffee over to Olivia, since there was no cup holder, and took off towards school. I hesitated around the question for a moment, until finally the curiosity got the best of me.

"Okay, who was in the hot rod that just whizzed by us?" I tried to sound indifferent, but I wasn't too successful.

"Well the only red sports car in town belongs to Rosalie Hale. She's pretty nice, but totally insane behind the wheel. She gave me a ride a couple of times, and I honestly couldn't handle it. She's kind of insane. Come to think of it, insanity might run in the family. Her brother Edward is just as bad, only he's scary too." She babbled out happily.

"Who are they?" The Cullen's must've been new, because the name didn't register, and it seemed that they had gained a bunch of notoriety. How much had changed in five years?

"They belong to one of the two richest families in town." She added with obvious excitement. I could tell she liked to gossip. Some things never changed it seemed, she was exactly the same as I remembered her being.

"Hale, Cullen? I'm confused." I glanced over at her for answers. She frowned a little, and furrowed her brow a bit.

"Well, the Cullen's are confusing. Okay let me get this right. There is Esme Cullen who's the Mayor, and her husband Carlisle who works at the hospital as some kind of consultant. They have four kids; the Hale twins Jasper and Rosalie, and their own two boys, Emmett and Edward Cullen. The Hales were adopted when their parents died in some kind of boating accident when they were kids. The other big rich family is the one Angela's father married into. John Weber married Megan Cain about two years ago after Angela's mother died of cancer. The new Mrs. Weber has two daughters of her own, Nora and Tara. Confused yet?" She said through a giggle.

"Totally." I giggled right back. "Well here we are. Is it just me or does it look smaller?" I parked in one of the few empty spots, and when I got out I had to stop for a moment. This was supposed to be my high school, I just never made it that far in Forks. The campus had a giant park on the back side, and the five of us (me, Jess, Lauren, Olivia, and Angela) all used to play there after school. I glanced over my shoulder, my old elementary school was only two blocks down, and I could just make out the pitched roof.

"Not to me. See you definitely at lunch. Later Isabella." She waved before bolting off towards the quad.

"Call me Bella." I shouted after her.

"Bella, got it. See ya!" She said turning around in place, and giving me a thumbs up. I shook my head at her, before heading for the monolithic three story main building where the administration offices were. The campus was split up into five buildings. The biggest building at the back of the property was devoted to the pool and the basketball court. Then there were three identical class room buildings that were each two stories tall, and had six rooms on each floor, with one set of bathrooms on the ground floor. They were loosely devoted to the different departments. Science and Mathematics, Language and History, and the last one for Arts and Music. The big building was a catch all, with three multi-purpose rooms, the wood and machine shops, a full professional kitchen for home economics, an auditorium, the cafeteria, and the computer and science labs, as well as, administration.

I walked across the parking lot, feeling the stares of most of the students gathered around before classes began. I was uneasy having that many eyes on me, I wasn't fond of unwanted attention. The cool morning air ended at the threshold of the office, with a waft of heat. Suddenly I wasn't so sure a long sleeve shirt was a wise idea. I went over to a counter with a huge sliding window. Behind the thick plastic sat a middle aged woman with graying brown hair, coke bottle glasses, and a frumpy sense of style. She gave me a friendly smile, as I approached and held out a delicate hand for me to shake. She had two rings on her ring finger, and had carefully manicured nails with a fresh coat of indigo polish.

The nameplate on her side of the window said 'Mrs. Sally Cope'. I took her hand gently, afraid that I might hurt her, which I'll admit was a bit silly, but I couldn't help but feel like she was somehow fragile.

"You must be Miss Swan." I nodded, even though it was said rhetorically.

"That's me." She nodded once, and spun around in her chair with surprising speed and efficiency. She scooted over to another desk positioned behind her, and picked up a somewhat a thin folder with the school logo printed on it.

"Here you go, this has a campus map. A list of all the class rooms and teachers, the directory, your schedule, locker assignments and their respective combinations, and a slip each of your teachers need to sign. You'll need to bring the sign off sheet back by the end of the day. Good luck!" She gave me a friendly smile as she handed the folder over to me. I nodded once and managed small smile myself.

Then I headed outside, while checking out my schedule, and practically ran into an unspeakably beautiful girl with auburn hair and striking deep blue eyes the color of an inlet sea on a calm sunny day. She was paying attention at least, so we didn't actually collide. Still I felt like a moron for being oblivious. She looked at me directly, and smirked ever so slightly.

"Walking and reading is never a good idea." Even her voice was pretty. I felt suddenly very plain.

"Sorry, I just got my schedule and I didn't want to be late to first period." My apology was a little scattered, but at least I was able to form a complete sentence. I'd never been in the presence of such raw beauty before and she was making it hard to think, let alone speak. She looked like a model. Except you always see those pictures online of models before and after airbrushing. She looked like she jumped right from an 'after' picture.

"No harm, no foul. You must be Leah's sister. I never know what to say in situations like this. I'm sorry for your loss." She said sympathetically.

"Great, more false sympathy." I flinched, I hadn't meant to be that candid or flippant. Being called Leah's sister for the first time sort of threw me for a loop. I mean, I knew it was technically true, but to hear it said by an outside party was something else entirely.

"Pardon?" She seemed a bit confused and offended at my abruptness.

"It's nothing. Sorry I didn't mean anything by it." I said quickly, trying to cover.

"It's all good. Leah didn't mean to let it slip, I was just curious." I blinked at her, a little unsure of how to respond. "I'm Tara by the way, nice to meet you."

"Bella." I managed to squeak out.

"So I'll likely see you at lunch." She said in a clear attempt to break the conversation. I was still confused and pressed the conversation.

"Ah yeah, so Leah hangs out with you?" I stumbled over my words, and shook my head. I swear that I had never been this tongue tied. "Sort of, she kind of marches to her own drummer. When she does show up she usually sits with us. Why?" Tara looked at me curiously, with a slightly defensive gleam in her eye.

"Oh just trying to figure things out, the social dynamics have pretty much exploded since I left." I smirked, and tilted my head in an attempt to sort it all out. Of course things had changed since the last time I was here. When I left, clothes meant nothing, Disney movies were cool, and boys still had cooties.

"If it helps I'm Angela's sister." She smiled warmly, and I nodded a couple of time finally connecting the dots. "Leah didn't tell anyone else by the way, we were talking about you and she kind of blurted it out. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too." She smiled reassuringly.

"Too late, I told Olivia already." I sighed, wincing at my clear stupidity. Even growing up, Olivia could keep a secret if you _told _her it was a secret, but she could never hide the fact that she had a secret to tell. That's how our parents always knew when we'd been up to mischief. Since I didn't tell her it was a secret at all, I'm sure it was halfway around the school by now.

"Well, yeah. Love her, but you might have been better off taking out a full page add in the school newspaper, at least no one reads that. Even money says the most repeated words you hear for the rest of the day are, 'sorry to hear about your mom'." She said without sarcasm. Her sigh of mild exasperation was enough to make me sigh as well. In that moment she felt like a co-conspirator, a confidant.

"I hadn't intended on keeping it a secret anyway." I said unable to hide my frustration with myself. Then a thought occurred to me, "You know about Sam don't you?" I blurted out tentatively, before wincing in fear that I'd said too much.

"Yeah, that's a whole mess of heartache. I have no idea how to tell her she..." She started before trailing off and looking down. I narrowed my eyes, was she saying she was interested? I didn't think it was the right time to ask, but I filed that away for a much longer conversation.

"Well I'm off to homeroom. See ya later." I nodded, and she took off down the hall.

I wandered towards my first class. Lost in the hope that maybe Leah had someone like that to be there for her, and the fear that my pain was about to be exposed to the entire student body. My homeroom was Math, and it was a bit of a trek to make it there before the first bell. Even given my mental state, I made it about a minute late. Thankfully the rest of the class was just getting settled.

I handed the teacher my slip and looked around for a seat, and found a familiar face near the back holding one for me. Lauren Holloway had changed, and for the most part it had been a good change. Except there was something in her eyes that made me wary. It was almost as if she were getting ready to claim me, and the thought of it made me tired. I could almost feel the drama already starting. Would I have to endure an entire school year being tugged at by two cliques? I tentatively sat next to her and gave her as bright a smile as I could. I didn't want to prejudge anyone, and Olivia's opinion might've been biased one way or another.

"Isabella Swan, you look pale. I thought in Phoenix you would at least get a tan. Just kidding, how you been?" She didn't sound like she was kidding, I had seen that fake smile dozens of times whenever she had to lie to her parents. The idea of backhanded compliments was something else we weren't old enough to understand the concept of the last time I was here. Clearly Lauren had learned all about them.

"Um, fine I guess. You seem a little different too." I said with thinly veiled anger over her insult.

"Really, I'm the same old me. Oh, we're bothering the teacher so I'll talk to you later." She spoke quickly and didn't really seem to care if I responded. Then she turned her attention to Mr. Kelly, effectively cutting off any further conversation. I turned back in my seat, and tried to figure out exactly what to do. I had no interest in being friends with someone that practically had 'Two-faced' stamped onto her forehead, but I had no idea if Olivia and Angela were any better.

"Ignore her, everyone with a sense of self worth does." The voice came from my left, and I was surprised to find another insanely pretty girl there. She was very petite and almost painfully thin, with classically elongated narrow features, and raven black hair. She also had nearly luminescent emerald green eyes. Her clothes were also a little unusual. She was clearly a Goth, but extremely well quaffed. Her top was made up of layers of fabrics, leather, and lace strategically placed and dyed in different shades of black and grey with the occasional pop of gold, silver, and red. Her skirt was ankle length but made of a thin matte black material that was some kind of tightly woven mesh that appeared translucent. Underneath she wore tattered black tights with giant holes, and heavy black combat boats. Her eyes were encircled with deep eye shadow with a touch of green, and her lips were painted with a deep maroon lip gloss. She took my breath away.

"Pardon?" I gasped out, feeling an odd sensation build in the pit of my stomach. Something about her hit me and had me responding physically in a way I'd never reacted to anyone before that moment. Just taking her in made me feel self conscious. I was also suddenly very aware of my hair, and had to fight the urge to try and fix it for her.

She didn't seem to notice my state of befuddlement. "I just mean that she isn't worth your concern. Even if she was your friend once, she's nothing more than a conceited bitch now. If I were you, I'd stay away from her." She was staring directly at Lauren as she spoke, but her volume was low enough to be considerate to Mr. Kelly's lecture. The strange thing was her tone wasn't commanding or coaxing. It was as if she was just being polite, conveying helpful information. It was the same kind of tone of voice that someone would use to suggest an umbrella on a cloudy day.

"I'm the bitch? You're the bitch you freak!" Lauren whispered emphatically at the odd stranger. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the total lack of ingenuity in her response.

"I'll admit I'm a freak, but at least I'm okay with that. You on the other hand are vain, narcissistic, and selfish. If you ever had an original thought in your head it died out of sheer loneliness. I doubt you'll ever begin to grow out of it, or realize how truly unimportant you are in the grand scheme of things. " Then she turned her attention towards me, "Forgive me, Lauren sets me off sometimes. I'm Alice."

"Bella." I replied, looking back and forth between them a couple of times, and then I shook my head refusing to get in the middle of the argument. Lauren was fuming, but clearly didn't want to get into a screaming match in the middle of class. I had to get out of there quickly to avoid being caught in the crossfire once the bell rang. Still I couldn't help myself from stealing a few careful glances at the tiny stranger. The rest of the very short period passed by uneventfully, and then stood to bolt out of class before Lauren could ask to show me around or something.

"What's your next class?" Alice asked rather unexpectedly before Lauren could get my attention.

"History with Miller." I replied without thinking. Lauren seemed to have been too busy trying to come up with a witty come back, which left with Alice an opportunity to jump in and offer to show me around.

"My next class is next door to yours, I'll show you where it is." She offered politely. I started to shake my head, but somehow my body seemed to misinterpret the signals coming from my head and I ended up smiling instead. Lauren huffed from behind me, and from the click of her heels I could tell she had already given up on me.

"Sure." I said tentatively, and we started off across the quad. At first it felt nice, but after a minute of awkward silence I bit my lower lip trying to come up with something to say.

"Alice, so where did you come from?" She was my age and I didn't recognize her, so she must be new in town.

"Everywhere." She said with a smirk.

"I feel the same way sometimes, my mom was a bit of a gypsy." I said with a bit more brightness than I knew I was capable of. She chuckled, which made me smile.

"So Gypsy, I like that, can I call you that?" She said pausing in mid-step to look me in the eyes.

"Um, I guess." I said with a shrug, I'd heard far worse nicknames.

"Well Gypsy, if you have need some of my legendary fashion sense, I'm always available. Not that you need much help." She said giving me an up and down glance. I almost blushed she was being so forward. I bit my lower lip in an attempt to calm my sudden nerves, and gave her a soft smile.

"I'll keep that in mind." I said finally, after coming up with nothing witty to respond with.

"Great, we'll have to set up some kind of date so we can measure you. I have some material that will totally set off your eyes. I'll warn you though, you should probably stay away from me if you wanna be popular, Lauren might be a bitch, but she was partially right, I am a freak." She said with such sincerity that I was taken a bit aback, but there was also a layer of self mocking that made me feel for her.

"I'll make up my own mind about that. Lauren from all accounts is not the person I once knew." I rolled my eyes a little bit. I knew that the friendship I once had with Lauren was probably gone, and nothing short of a personality transplant for her would change that.

"Damn tootin." She gave me a very friendly grin, and started towards class again in the same beat. I stood for a moment watching her, 'Damn tootin'? Who the hell says that in this day and age? I shook off my surprise, and then quickly jogged to catch up. We didn't say anything until she dropped me at my class room, then she curtseyed once and skipped away. I watched her still totally befuddled, but absolutely intrigued.

The next class was blissfully devoid of people I knew. It gave me a short reprieve, and a moment to calm my thoughts and figure out exactly what I wanted to do. It was clear that Lauren wasn't a friend I wanted, so all that was left was trying to figure out if Angela and Olivia were still the good people I once knew. If Tara was any kind of gauge, I had already found a good group of friends. After working through that slight dilemma I tried to pay attention to History, but Alice kept jumping in and out of my thoughts. It didn't help that the teacher was a total bore. I had never been so completely dragged down by a lecture in my life like I had been with Mr. Stanley. His continuous monotone didn't waver at all in pitch or inflection. After an hour, I started to fantasize about taking my massive textbook and beating him over the head repeatedly, just to liven up the room.

After counting the final few minutes of class second by second, I again bolted from the room as soon as the bell sounded. I waited in the hall for a few minutes hoping to catch Alice again, but she was already gone. So I made my way alone to my next class. The period was taken up by literature, which was something I had a great deal of interest in. The room was mostly empty when I arrived except for the teacher Ms. Carr and a tall lanky boy with copper red hair.

He was gorgeous and I felt myself immediately drawn to him. He gave me a charming smile as we met gazes, and again my mind went a little blank. He closed the distance between us and held out his long fingered hand. His nails were perfectly manicured, and his slightly tan made his face seem sharper than it really was. What really drew me to him was his eyes. Green, with just a hint of blue and white striations. They were like twin earths pulling me into them like they exerted their own gravity. I took his hand and melted at the warmness of his skin and the slight spark that passed between us.

"I'm Edward Cullen, and you are?" His voice was as smooth as silk, and seemed to bewitch me even more than his appearance had.

"B... Bella Swan." I stuttered out. I was already getting tired of being tongued around gorgeous people. I wondered if I was always going to be like this, or if I was only going to be overwhelmed once for each of them. What the hell did people around here drink anyway? Was something in the water that seemed to turn people into models?

"It's a pleasure to met you. Why don't you sit next to me, so I can fill you in on things." He offered pleasantly. Although it tugged at me a bit that he didn't really word it like a question.

"That sounds like a great idea Mr. Cullen. Do you mind Miss Swan?" Ms. Carr interjected. I shook my head dumbly, while trying to gather my marbles. He smiled again and led me towards the back of the class room to a couple of desks by the window.

The class filled out quickly after that, and I tried to pay attention to Ms. Carr. She was an excellent speaker, and actively tried to engage the students. I could tell within the first few minutes that she was going to be one of my favorite teachers. Her attention to detail made the experience fun, and her examples made me laugh.

"Have you studied Brontë before?" Edward asked randomly in the middle of the lecture, Ms. Carr didn't seem to notice though. She was passionately explaining about how Catherine's and Heathcliff's relationship dynamic was an excellent example of how love isn't always the perfect conquering thing, that occasionally love consumes and destroys, which runs contrary to a lot of modern romantic literature.

"I've read it, does that count." I responded distractedly, I was more interested in what Ms. Carr had to say, than some high-school boy.

"She has a good point, but it isn't the only interpretation of that relationship. Heathcliff isn't intentionally evil, he's just trying to do what he thinks is the right thing." Edward said in a slightly smug manner, as if baiting me. It worked.

"Not at all, have you read the book? He's a selfish prick, he lusts after Catherine even though she's married to Edgar, who admittedly she didn't really love, but what he did to Isabella was horrible." I whispered back at him heatedly.

"Isabella, of course you would side with her." Edward smirked, implying that it was simply because of her name that I sympathized with her side of the story. I narrowed my eyes at him and looked away. Thankfully the rest of Ms. Carr's lecture made the time fly by quickly. I expected him to offer to take me to lunch, but he simply nodded once and headed out with a swiftness that gave me mild whiplash again.

I sighed as I watched him leave, reluctant to go to lunch. I took my time, a little worried about the forty-five minutes of chaos that were about to ensue. Even strolling leisurely, it took barely three minutes. Then before I could even get in line Lauren and Jessica intercepted me. I felt like they were ganging up, they stood like bouncers with their arms cross and their feet squared off, but what really hit me was their expressions. The both seems to be so full of disgust and hate. The open hostility made me almost miss how much Jessica had changed. She had grown about a foot, and had lost all her baby fat. She looked slight, overly tanned, and severe as though she had spent entirely too much time in front of a wind machine and in a tanning booth.

"So what's it gonna be, us or _them_." Lauren practically spit out, throwing a dangerous glare at Angela who was sitting with several people I'd never met before.

"Them." I said without hesitation. Lauren gave me a contemptuous glance and turned with a slightly petulant stomp of her foot. Jessica eyed me for a moment and took a step forward.

"Turning your back on me again. I should've known. I guess it doesn't matter. I didn't miss you that much the first time you left anyway." She didn't wait for my reply, and quickly turned on her heel to follow Lauren. Still her words stung, and I heard masked hurt in her voice. I could tell she was just lashing out, but would never admit it. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, and turned away feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I headed to the nearest bathroom to wash my face off and clear my head. I'd made my choice, and I wasn't about to be sad about it. Jessica had made hers, probably a long time ago whenever the rift started between the two groups. I stared at my reflection for a moment, and for the first time I could finally see something that I hadn't seen before, pain. I'd thought I was so good at hiding it, but I wasn't, not really. I wasn't sure I could sit and pretend to be unbroken for people I barely knew anymore. I dried my face off, and snuck back into the cafeteria. As quickly as I could, I made my way over to the service line, grabbed a few portable items and dashed out the back exit.

The fresh air felt nice on my skin, even though I hadn't been inside for very long. Across from the door was the athletic field, still set up for Soccer. Beyond that was the edge of the forest, which loomed ahead of me like a green, brown, and black tidal wave. I couldn't explain why, but it felt like it could be a sanctuary for once. I made my way across the large expanse of field to the edge of the property. The tree line was deeply shadowed, but a small path was worn into the foliage a few meters to my right.

I was about twenty or so meters into the forest when I noticed what looked like a person propped up against a tree barely twenty meters further ahead. I frowned, because I wanted time alone. Then I took in how much flesh seemed to be showing. Whoever they were, they were naked. I stopped in place and tried to be as still and quiet as possible, I didn't want to interrupt a couple having fun. Except after another long moment there was no movement from the person. It made me wonder if maybe they were waiting for someone. So I started to turn around, when my change of angle revealed something else that struck out at me, I recognized who it was... Olivia.

There was no way Livy would wait around naked in the forest for some guy. At least not the Olivia I used to know. It struck me as so strange, that I found myself inching forward, feeling an uncontrollable urge to investigate further. I'd gone about ten feet before I saw the pool of blood she was sitting in. The rest was a blur. I rushed over to her, and checked her pulse, and found she had none. I laid her down, and started CPR, before I realized she had no tongue... or eyes. I screamed and backed up, before I ran back to the Cafeteria without thinking.

Once inside I tried to speak, but I couldn't quite form words. So I just screamed. Heads whipped towards me, and in the next instant my screams were matched by several more. The room erupted in chaos, as people began to run or try and get to me.

"Bella? What happened?" Angela was suddenly at my side, because somehow I'd fallen to the floor. I was holding my knees, my hand covered in blood. Not that I was looking at the blood. I was staring at her face, wondering how I'd never noticed how kind her eyes were before. Hazel, with flecks of green. Long lashes, high cheek bones. Well shaped eyebrows, a nice roman nose with a bit of a slope, full lips that were naturally dark pink. She was pretty, not my type, but pretty. I'd never noticed that before.

"Livy, in the woods. So much blood." I muttered, trying to explain. How could I explain the blood? Out of the corner of my eye, Leah turned and ran out the door, followed a second later by Tara.

"I'm gonna take you to the nurse now, is that okay?" Angela asked softly, somehow she didn't seem patronizing. I just nodded, and let her lead me away. The nurse's office was clean and small. She shooed Angela away, and sat me down. She didn't say much, mostly if I had any injuries, which I shook my head at. Then she sat and waited with me, but didn't let me clean up. The blood made my fingers sticky, and I couldn't help but stare at them in disbelief.

A little while later the Principal came in and asked me some questions. I was still too much in shock to answer in more than monosyllabic phrases. Then my father showed up. He barreled into the small room, seeming to take up most of it. I tensed up, waiting for him to yell at me. Normally I would've been able to handle it, but I just couldn't. It was too much. I'd just lost one of my oldest friends in a truly horrible way.

He looked at me for several long pregnant seconds, before he opened his mouth to speak. "I'll need to get a statement from you... but later. Are you ready to go home?" His voice was so tender and reassuring that I blinked up at him in confusion. He didn't blame me, he didn't accuse me. I had blood on my hands, I'd moved the body, probably destroying evidence, and all he wanted was to comfort me.

I launched myself at him, and wrapped my arms around his chest, burying my face deeply in the polyester of his cop's uniform. Then I started to cry again, except they weren't tears of grief. They were tears of anger. Someone did this to her, someone butchered my friend... and I had to find out who.

* * *

**Post Script Author's Note:**

**1. (Updated 6/2/13) So, you are not imagining things. This is a VERY different scenario from the original version I posted here. There are a ton of reasons for this change, but it breaks down pretty simply. That other story, where Bella is the one attacked in the woods, was far too cumbersome to work. It was with a heavy heart that I had to abandon that direction. I think that this one will be a lot more fun.**

**2. I would love to hear about the reactions all of you have to this change. Because it is huge, and dramatically alters everything. I know some of you guys will be upset with me because of this, but I felt it was the only way to move forward. So if you're upset, lay it on me, I'm ready!**

**3. Kathryn's Co-Author Corner: OOOOH CLIFFHANGER! O_O DUN DUN DUN *cackles* Forget all that you think you know! It's gonna be a bumpy ride! This is a fun story, character focused and driven and much more AU than I'm used to writing or reading. But Samantha has such amazing ideas I couldn't help but get sucked in to work with her on it, and I hope the reading draws you in the same as it did me! **

**4. *Edited 3/15* Kathryn kicks ass, she's the reason we have a longer Edward scene, it was originally three lines. And again her input has help shaped this story, without her it wouldn't be anything even remotely like this. *To clarify her input on the Edward scene was at my urging, and she only contributed a very basic idea to that exchange... so blame me not her. She also broadened the Alice scene too, and basically gave me the inspiration for the Sue scene.*  
**

**5. Questions and Answers: Thank you to everyone that Reviewed, Favorited, or set up an Alert for this story. A special shout out goes to _HomeByTwilight, Chestergavin, and ScOut4it_. I loved all of your insights and thoughts about the story. _ ScOut4it_, to answer your question; Sam will be a part of the story but much later on, but I'll try to make sure she's an interesting character when she does enter the story. _ShadowCub_, Leah is a very important character, and she will have a romantic interest... I won't say more than that. _Guest_, to clarify, Bella will eventually be supernatural but I won't say when or how it will happen. **

**6. As Always I'd like to recommend my other collaboration with Kathryn; _In Another Life_.**

**Stay tuned, another chapter will be up fairly soon!**

**Next Up - Fixing the Pieces: **Bella copes with the loss of her friend, and deals with the fallout that death as caused in her new family.


	3. Fixing the Pieces

**Chapter Three: Fixing the Pieces**

_- Isabella Marie Swan, 17 years old_

_Monday, September 2nd - Wednesday, September 4th_

_"Try to fill the spaces in-between." - How to Destroy Angels_

Sue was waiting for me when we got home. Her first act was to hug me. Then she lead me upstairs to my room where there was already a full bath waiting in the adjoining bathroom. I kissed her on the cheek, muttering how much I loved her, and began to claw at my clothes before she even had the door closed. I got down to my underwear before I realized my hands were still caked in her blood. I turned to the sink and began to wash my hands. Even after all the blood was gone from my skin, I kept going until the flesh on my fingers and palms were red from the scolding hot water and vigorous scrubbing.

I was so angry, that when I finally stopped I threw the bar of soap at the massive mirror, cracking it like a tree in winter, the branches of the crack spreading out nearly to the corners. I took a few steps back and sat on the toilet feeling just wasted. I couldn't cry anymore, I'd spent all my tears on my mother. I couldn't fight, there was no one to go after. Dad had told me that there was nothing to be done, since it was pretty clear it was the work of the serial killer that had been stalking young women in Seattle and the surrounding areas for over a year.

Tomorrow the FBI would be all over town, and he warned me that I would be one of the first people they questioned. I'd read about the killer, the Seattle Slayer. He's been in the national news cycle on and off all year. I just hadn't really paid much attention to the story, since it was on the other side of the country. It had slipped my mind entirely, or I would've never gone out alone. Except neither would Olivia. I sat up and ran down stairs, I needed Dad to hear that. It made no sense.

"Dad! Dad!" I cried out, as I ran into the dining room. Sue was sitting at the dining room table, with several wadded up tissues in front of her, her face was puffy and dad was sitting next to her holding her hands reassuringly. They both looked up, and Charlie immediately looked away. I knew I wasn't exactly decent, but I wasn't naked, not that I cared about modesty at the moment. Though in retrospect, it was probably pretty awkward for him to have his teenage daughter standing there in next to nothing.

"Dad..." I repeated, determined to get him to look at me. I wasn't going to have a conversation with the side of his head. He must have sensed my stubbornness because he turned and frowned at me. Though he kept his head tilted up, very pointedly looking me in the eyes, and only in the eyes. I wanted to roll my eyes at him, my underwear wasn't even provocative. I'd worn more revealing bikini's, in front of him no less.

"What is it Bella?" He said with a touch of frustration.

"Olivia. She wouldn't have gone out of the school alone." I said through sniffs, my nose was running pretty freely, and I had to grab a tissue of the nearly empty box near Sue, to blow my nose.

"Maybe, but I'm not sure she would've worried about the Slayer, he's never struck this far west." He looked positively complacent and a bit defeated, it made me worried about him.

"I guess, but it only slipped my mind because I haven't been following the news like the rest of the country, otherwise I wouldn't have gone out alone, just to be safe. Doesn't it strike you as weird, do you think she would've have left school grounds like that? What if she went out there with someone she knew, and that someone is the killer? What if the killer goes to Forks High School?" The longer I rambled on, the more excited and freighted I became. Then a soft whistle came from behind me. I spun around and came face to face with Seth, who just shrugged at me.

"Nice outfit... um why are your hands bleeding?" He hadn't met my eyes because he was still looking over my body. There was a full five second pause between the time he commented on my outfit and the time he noticed the bloods on my hands, though, his eyes finally made it to my face when he finished asking the question.

"I had to get the blood off of them." I said distractedly. I didn't really care that Seth was getting a free show. I turned back towards my father expectantly. "What do you think?"

"We're on top of it Bella. The Feds will have every possible..." His cell phone went off, interrupting his train of thought. The ringtone, Eye of the Tiger, would've normally been hilarious, but I wasn't in the mood. "I need to take this, excuse me." He got up and went out onto the back deck. He immediately lit a cigarette, which I hadn't seen him do since I was seven years old when he quit so that he could be an "example" for me.

"The school lockdown was hard on him, he had to recuse himself from the investigation, and you know how much that gets under his skin." Sue said looking at him smoke with a slightly trembling hand. Her voice fell to a harsh whisper as she stared at him pacing on the back deck. "He thought it was you."

"He thought what was… Oh, oh god." I looked at him for a moment, and I could see the worry and fear in his eyes. That wild look of someone who almost just lost everything. I'd been so focused on myself that I hadn't thought about Charlie, or my friends who knew Olivia far longer than I had.

I looked back at Seth, who's eyes flicked up sluggishly from my ass, as if they were attached there by glue. A guilty look crossed his face, but I ignored it. "You need to help Mom get dinner ready." I held back the wince at using that term of affection for Sue, but I'd felt that way about her for years, I couldn't think of a reason not to use it. I clenched my fists, and felt the skin there open in several places, I really had scrubbed them raw.

"I... sure. Whatever." Seth headed upstairs, and a moment later Leah came rushing in to the house. She didn't hesitate, or break stride, she half leaped at me and had me wrapped up in a tight hug before I could even begin to reassure her that I was okay. I'd never felt so supported, even at her best Renee had never been able to be my rock to stand on. It just wasn't her thing.

"Hey, let's get you washed up." Leah said after she pulled back from the hug to look me up and down, her eyes taking in my partially dressed state after a moment. I pulled away and shook my head.

"I'll be okay. I'm more worried about Dad. He's not taking this well." I managed to keep the tremble out of my voice, so I sounded reasonably stable. I was proud of that. I even sounded convincing to myself.

"Wait… he's smoking? He smokes? Since when?" Leah asked, confusion and a touch of disgust twisting her face into a slight grimace.

"Not for a long time. I'm gonna head upstairs, um... I kind of broke the mirror." I turned towards Sue reluctantly , with a guilty expression on my face, I was relieved when she just shook her head and smiled at me.

"Don't worry about it. I think luck will forgive you today, or consider the debt paid in full. Although you'll have to pay for it miss moneybags." She teased, but I shrugged, I didn't know what to do with the money I did have.

"No problem." I moved over and gave her a quick hug before heading upstairs again. The bath was still pretty warm, enough that I didn't feel the need to redraw it. I kind of lost myself in the warmth, and it felt good to be lost. I conjured up all the memories I could of my friend, and found some tears for her. After a while, I could smell something good wafting up from downstairs, so I knew it was time to get up and face the world again.

* * *

That evening I spent going back and forth between stalling arguments between Seth and the rest of the family, and Charlie who was even more of an emotional wreck than I originally thought. The trauma of almost losing his daughter on top of what happened to Renee was just too much for him, and he ended up going out on the back deck half a dozen times for cigarettes. He didn't even get into the game we all sat down to watch together. Usually there would be a running commentary about statistics, and tendencies, and predictions of how the at-bat was going to turn out. By the end of the night, my own troubles were gone, replaced almost entirely by worry for my dad.

Still every time I closed my eyes, I could see Olivia's face or what was left of it, her empty eyes and empty mouth. It was as if someone had removed her soul by force. It didn't help Sue to see us all like this, and more than once she closed her eyes to take several deep calming breaths. I hoped things were going to calm down, for her sake. She didn't need more strain on her body, when the baby was causing enough strain as it was. Thankfully Leah seemed to be on top of that, and spent most of the evening next to Sue, holding her hand and just being close and supportive.

I could still see the hurt over loosing Sam in her eyes, but she looked at lot better. It made me proud of her that she rose to support her family first. Of course I was basically doing the same with Charlie. Except not quite so overtly. I sat forward on the couch with him as he watched the players move like video game action figures across the screen again and again. The constant movement was a distraction, but not an interesting one. I cheered when he did, although it was clear he wasn't really invested in it.

After it was over, and everyone started towards their rooms for the night, I pulled Seth aside and dragged him out onto the back deck.

"What, what the fuck do _you_ want?" He sneered at me, with a touch of viciousness.

"Shut up, and get over yourself. I don't care what little persecution complex that caused this teenage rebellion you got going on right now, but your family needs you. Your mom especially. I know it hurts seeing them together, and it makes you angry that your dad is gone. Well guess what I'm angry that my mom is gone too. I'm angry that one of my oldest friends was just murdered. But I'm not going to take it out on them, the people that are only there to support you."

"Who the fuck do you think you are? We're not family." Seth practically spit in my face, getting close in an attempt to try and intimidate me. It didn't work. I'd spent the last decade of my life in some form of martial arts, I could take him down in a heartbeat. So I didn't back down, I didn't flinch. I pushed in even closer, and lowered my voice to as menacing as I could make it.

"I'm your _sister_, but I'm not your friend. I'm not going to coddle you, and hope that bending over backwards causes you to give me some minor reciprocation. I won't let you hurt this family. If you try this shit with any of them, I'll make sure you walk funny for a week." I kept my voice even thankfully, and my monotone did seem to get to him a little.

He stared at me for a long moment, sizing me up before finally smirking. "Try it, I bet you've never thrown a punch in your life." The smirk turned into a mocking smile, and he tensed trying to get ready for anything. I thought about it, I wasn't exactly sure what the right move was. I could back off, but that felt counterproductive. I could hurt him and teach him a lesson, but that might just be excessive. So my only recourse was to put him into a position of submission and reiterate my threat, it seemed like the best option.

I took a step back, placing myself directly between him and the door to the house and made a motion for him to attack, he looked surprised, and a bit shocked at the taunt. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind for a moment, before he rolled his eyes. He clearly decided the conversation was over so he strode forward. He made to push me out of the way dismissively. I had no problem sidestepping him, and getting leverage on his right arm. He let out a cry of surprise when I twisted it around behind his back and pushed up slightly. He was on his knees in a lock in a couple of seconds.

"I'll say it again. I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you keep this up. I have literally no patience left, and you are pushing in a way that makes it personal. My father may have fucked up trying to connect with you, maybe he made it about the wrong things. Maybe you're just giving him a hard time. I'll talk to him again, and get him to apologize. He knows what he's done wrong, and he will make good on it, but not right now. Dad can't be worried about you throwing a teenage drama queen tantrum because he hasn't been absolutely perfect, and may have made a mistake or two along the way as he adjusts to this new family dynamic. Not when they might have a murderer in town. Leah is dealing with genuine relationship issues, and your mother is pregnant." I allowed my own anger from the day burn through my words.

"We can't worry about you too, we can't have you wandering off like that. Jesus Christ Seth. The fact that you probably weren't in school today makes you a fucking suspect. Don't you get it? You're messing with your life, you're throwing everything away. Give them a chance, let Sue in, let Charlie in, let Leah in, because as much as you don't want to admit it, you need them as much as they need you. So man the fuck up!" I let go of him with a slight push forward, and he fell onto his left hand. He sat back on his knees and rubbed at his right arm, staring at the composite boards used for the deck surface.

I expected him to spin around in anger or to get in my face, about what I'd just done. I felt relatively secure that he wouldn't actually try and strike me. One thing I knew about his dad was that one of the basic tenants in his life was "Men don't hit women."

What I didn't expect was Seth to remain there crouched for several long seconds. I was about to go forward to him, worried that in my zeal I may have actually hurt him. However he started to speak first. "I miss him. I don't want to be like this, but I miss him so much. I hate him too, I can't stop feeling like he left us. Like he ran away from us. I know that's not true, that his heart just gave out, but I can't get over it. I can't stop feeling angry all the time. I don't want to be a problem for them, but your dad doesn't make it easy on me. He treats me like a delinquent, even when I've done nothing wrong. So that just makes me angrier. I don't know how to change."

He was speaking so quietly that I had trouble making out his words, then he turned up to face me, tears welling up in his eyes. "I don't want to be the reason they're miserable. I want to stop hating them, but I feel like I have no one. Dad always understood, but he's gone now… and it… it's like I have no one who _gets _it. Will you help me?"

I looked down at him, so vulnerable, so open. This was more like the Seth I remembered. I wished that it was someone else in the family he was turning to, but I couldn't change the fact that he was turning to me. So I nodded once. "Of course. You get angry, you can talk to me. Or hell, you can try to punch me, I could teach you how to do it properly even. Just don't take it out on them. I promise I will talk to Dad, get him to back off. I know that it's probably not been fair to you, he is a cop first sometimes." I gave him a faint smile and offered a hand to help him up. It was more than just a gesture, it was a symbol for change. I was literally offering a hand, and thankfully he took it.

He stared at me, his hand in mine, for almost a minute before he pulled away and turned back towards the house. I half expected the entire family to be there watching, but no one was. He turned once, and managed a small smile, before he ran upstairs. It was a good sign that he didn't slam his door behind him. I sat down on the deck, ignoring the small puddles of rain water covering the surface of the faux wood grain. Little pools of water that never seemed to dry up or go away.

I stared into the forest beyond the back fence for a long time. I imagined the killer lurking in the shadows under the trees. Watching me. Several times I thought I could even make out his eyes, moving from tree to tree in a dance so macabre that it made me shiver. Or maybe it was the chill that had penetrated through my coat that was making me shiver. I hugged my knees to my chest, and sniffed a few times, holding back the emotions which were so chaotic and begging to be released again, but I refused to cry anymore. I'd cried enough for a lifetime in the last few weeks, and I was done. Still, I had to do something to acknowledge my friend.

"What do I Livy? I miss you so much, but I can't figure out how to handle that. I can't say goodbye, not yet." I hoped my whisper would carry on the wind and find her, where ever she was.

* * *

I wasn't puffy the next morning, which was a nice change. The morning routine was a little different. Dad was there, nursing a cold cup of coffee. Sue was gone, but Seth was in her place munching on a bagel. Leah had gotten up a bit earlier so I could have more bathroom time, to which I was eternally grateful, and had stayed probably to go into school with me.

"No school. Not for a while, like maybe a week. The Feds have the entire building locked up tight, and all the students have a police enforced curfew until further notice." Leah said with a touch of sarcasm. She obviously didn't like the idea of the police harassing kids for being out too late.

"Wow, that seems... silly. The murderer did it in broad daylight, how does a curfew do anything?" I looked at my father, who just shrugged.

"It's not how I would've handled it, but because you were the primary witness, I can't be on the case. Now the Feds are involved, and are not cooperating as far as I can tell. From what Paul is saying, it's practically a witch hunt." I frowned at him, but mostly because it was plainly clear he wanted to be involved. "I'm supposed to take you to the station here in like twenty minutes, for questioning." It was his turn to frown, but not at me. He looked down at his coffee and sighed a few times.

"Okay, I better get food." I said really to no one in particular. There was plenty of coffee, which made me smile. If there hadn't been, and I had to face an interrogation. It's entirely possible that I might have come across as insane, or the person interviewing me might have ended up dead, which have looked bad on my criminal record. There was also more than enough food left over. It occurred to me that I would have to start setting my alarm like twenty minutes earlier if I wanted warm food.

I took a travel mug for my second cup, then we sat in silence on the short drive to the station. Charlie's face was fixed in a scowl the entire way.

"Look, just tell them the truth as best you remember. You did nothing wrong." He said finally as we pulled up. I got out slowly, and then leaned in to give him a hug across the seat before I closed the door. The station was incredibly busy, more than I'd ever seen it. Four dozen people at least were milling about, talking, working on computers, looking over files, it was insane. The receptionist, Miss Crane, was working the phones which were ringing off the hook. She was literally the only face I recognized, since she had been working at the station since I was two.

I leaned against the counter and waited for her to notice me, which didn't take long. "Isabella. Why don't you sit over there, and someone will be with you... eventually." She motioned with a boney finger towards the waiting area, complete with a couple of old fashioned vending machines, and magazines that were current last summer. I had to remember to pick Dad up some more so he could at least give people something to read.

It was closet to thirty minutes later before a younger woman in a very crisp pantsuit came over to me. She was holding a file, and was examining it as she walked. When she got close she made eye contact, but didn't attempt a smile. She wasn't frowning though, she kept her expression relatively neutral. She had a pretty face, big green eyes with long lashes, and softly rounded cheekbones. Her tawny hair was pulled back into a stylish twist, and her jewelry was tasteful and matched her outfit perfectly. I was impressed, she came off as very professional.

Once we were in one of the three interrogation rooms, she had me sit down. She sat across from me and made eye contact, without bothering to open the folder she set on the table in front of her. "My name is Ella Merchant, I'm the Agent in charge of this investigation, and I'll be asking you a few questions about yesterday."

"Okay, that's why I'm here." I tried to smile, but it felt wrong. So instead I just kept my expression open, and friendly.

"Good. To start off why don't you tell me what happened." She kept her voice light, and coaxing without seeming patronizing.

"I'd had a strange day up until lunch, and I was trying to figure out the new social situation I was in. My old friends had split up into two groups, and I was being asked to join both. I'd just had a fight with Jessica, okay it wasn't really a fight as much as a falling out, when I began to feel a bit overwhelmed. I went to the bathroom, splashed some water on my face. Then I went through the cafeteria, grabbed a few pieces of fruit and a piece of chocolate cake. Shoved them in my bag and headed outside. I remembered the woods behind the school had a bunch of big rocks to sit on, so I started looking for a path to find one. When I did I followed it only instead of a rock to eat on I found Olivia. When I realized she was sitting in blood, I rushed over and tried to do CPR, but I quickly realized she had no tongue and no eyes, so I backed up and ran to the cafeteria... I'm a little fuzzy from that point on." Somehow, I managed to get through all of it without breaking down, although after looking at the Agent, I regretted that I hadn't let more emotion come through.

"Do you remember anything else, anything that stood out to you?" She asked with a touch of skepticism. Had I set off her police instinct? Did she think of me as a suspect?

"No, I wish I could. The only thing that bothers me about it is why she was out there. I'd completely forgotten about the killer, but I'm new to town so I haven't been exposed to the news about him as frequently... I imagine. Olivia wouldn't have gone out there alone, it doesn't make sense." She nodded a couple of times in agreement.

"I have a few more questions, and then you can go. Would you mind explaining to me why you came back to Forks. Records state that you left five years ago to live with your mother." She did check the file as she asked the question, probably to check dates.

"I wanted to get away from Forks. I don't particularly like it here. I came back because she died a couple of weeks ago, along with my step-father." I shut my eyes to push back the grief again, I hated that it was still an open wound.

"Sorry for reminding you of such a recent loss, but I have to ask, how did her death make you feel?" Her voice was still neutral, but the question set off warning bells. My eyes flew open, and I found her expression was no longer professionally detached. She was now in full investigator mode, and I was the puzzle she needed to solve. I thought about it for a few seconds before responding, I was new in town, my father was a cop so I could have gotten details about the killings that wasn't common knowledge, I just suffered losses, and I had a personal connection to the victim. Together that could read like motivation. My heart started to beat furiously, and I had to force my face to stay pleasant and open.

After several seconds of internal debate, I finally started my answer. "Upset, sad, hurt. I've felt like it was my fault, because I should've been there with them."

She looked at me critically for a moment before responding. "How is it your fault?"

"I didn't go with them, I went to break up with my girlfriend instead." I said quietly, letting the emotions come through my voice. She needed to know I wasn't a monster. "If I'd gone with them, then maybe they would've taken a different route, or I would've held them up for the ten seconds needed to avoid the crash. If I hadn't been so selfish, they'd still be alive. You see the event was being held by a family friend named Doug Halverson. Besides his very inappropriate friends, his son Patrick is an Ex of mine. Patrick has never really gotten over our break up, so I knew he would've hit on me all night. Which would've lead to either a huge fight with him, or more likely I would've been guilted into fooling around with him. I didn't want to deal with that, so I didn't go. I didn't go and they died." I finally looked up to gauge her expression, it had softened a little. I hadn't meant to share that much. I think the emotions of the past days made me run off at the mouth slightly.

She clenched her jaw a few times, considering what I had said. Then she sighed softly before speaking. "I'm sorry for your loss. If we have any more questions for you, we'll be in touch." She got up, closed my file, and then fished out a business card for me. Then she headed out of the room, leading me back to the waiting area. She turned finally and held out a hand for me to shake, "Thank you for your cooperation." I shook her hand once, and then she quickly headed back into the chaos of the office. I caught her talking to a guy near the back who looked like he was her second in charge. She handed him my file, and shook her head. He frowned and glanced over at me. I smiled awkwardly, and then headed out. Charlie was still waiting, and I could see his sigh of relief when he saw me.

When I got in the car, he didn't waste any time pulling out and leaned on the gas to get as far away from the station as Forks would allow. Except we weren't headed towards home. "We have to pick up Sue. She went to the office, just in case anyone needed her."

"Oh, okay." I said without any idea how else to respond. "I think for a moment there she suspected me of this." I was looking out the window, I didn't want to see his response.

"I figured. Though it's stupid. You have no motive." He said angrily.

"There was a falling out in my old group, I was being forced to choose sides. Combined with the grief over losing my mother, I could see them thinking I had a violent reaction to the situation. Then used any knowledge I've gleaned from you about the serial killings to cover my tracks. My cover story about trying to resuscitate her would be good enough to throw suspicion off of me." I spoke quickly so that I could get through my theory without breaking down. It came across as colder than I intended.

"Yeah, something like that. Bella, is there something you want to tell me?" I looked over at him, he was actually eyeing me suspiciously.

"I chose Olivia, and Angela, and Leah. Why would I kill one of my best friends? How could I... cut out... no. I couldn't, I can't. I can't even picture it without getting a little nauseous. I loved her, she was gossipy, and silly. She loved fashion and boys, she liked JPOP before it was popular. Olivia was one of a kind. I haven't seen her in five years, and I already miss her. I could never rob the world of her spirit, and brightness. The thought that someone has taken her away from us makes my blood boil. We have to find him, we have to help them find him." He actually pulled over as I spoke so he could give me his full attention. When I was done he pulled me into a tight hug. This was new. He wasn't the most demonstrative person in the world.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even thought something like that. I promise we will find him, we always do." I nodded into his chest, but I knew differently. Serial were different. They were random, and difficult to track. A crime not based on connections, but on the act of murder. It was always a slip up, a clue left behind as evidence that brought those kinds of killers down. For over a year this monster had been actively slaughtering young women. There was no guarantee he would slip up, no matter how much my dad promised.

* * *

The rest of the day was a contrast in extremes. Extreme frustration, and extreme boredom. The only bright side was Seth, who really seemed to be trying. I gave him several supportive nods and smiles as he actively interacted with Charlie, in an attempt to repair their very shattered relationship one piece of duct tape at a time. I spent most of the afternoon with Sue and Leah, distracting ourselves with conversations about Olivia, or anything else. We laughed a lot more than I thought we would. It was strange how the littlest things were funny.

To me, the sad part was, it was the first time since my mother had died that I felt almost normal. Dinner was quiet, everyone had talked themselves out over the course of the day, and most of us just sat zoning, while the movie we all compromised on. played. I was happy when I was able to escape to my room, I was looking forward to finally getting a chance to spend time with Angela the next day. We hadn't really spoken yet since I'd been back. There was also the funeral, which was scheduled for noon.

I didn't think I'd actually get to sleep, considering everything, but I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow. I seemed to drift for a while, happy and content, then I was suddenly pulled down and slammed into the ground with enough force to shattered bone. Except I wasn't hurt. I sat up in confusion, and realized I'd fallen off the bed. I frowned, and laughed at myself. Then I started to crawl back in bed, when I caught something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a face outside my window.

I turned to face it as quickly as I could, but it was gone. Although it was probably just trick of the shadows cast by the tree's outside my window, I felt thoroughly creeped out. I got up and checked all my windows to make sure they were locked. Then I curled up in my reading chair, using my duvet as a shield that would protect me from nothing. I ended up falling asleep like that, and woke up to my alarm, which I'd forgotten to set back like I'd planned.

I got ready and stumbled downstairs feeling rung out, my neck sore from the awkward sleeping position. Everyone was downstairs, except Seth, although no one was talking. I sighed at being the last one awake again. "You guys get up way too early." I wanted it to sound playful, but I knew it came across as grumpy. I poured myself coffee before I said another word. Everyone was somber, and stayed that way all morning, even Seth, who stumbled down about an hour after I did.

After some minor issues with getting all ready for the funeral, we all piled into the SUV and headed to the church where the service was being held. Mr. Weber was already standing up at the pulpit, and I could see Olivia's family gathered at the front, her mother crying so hard that she was literally hanging onto her husband for support. A giant picture of Olivia was front and center, and the multitudes of flowers gave the room a very earthy scent. Most of town was there, including several agents including Ella Merchant, who nodded once at me from her spot at the back of the church.

As the people filed into the pews, a growing hum filled the space. Whispers, hushed and hurried carried over to me, my name often coming through like a jolt of electricity. I tried to ignore them, to forget that they were all talking about me, when they should've been remembering Olivia. I felt a spike of anger rise up in my throat, and I needed to get some air. Unfortunately Mr. Weber chose that moment to begin to calm the room, so he could start the eulogy.

"We are here today to mourn, to remember, to try and find an answer in God's plan. We're here to say goodbye to our dear daughter, and friend, Olivia Thorne." Mr. Weber spoke with true sadness, he'd known Olivia her entire life. I was the one that felt like an outsider, and I couldn't listen to her eulogy, so I closed my eyes and tried to shut out his voice.

"Seems silly, all this fuss over me. I wish I'd had this many friends." Olivia's voice rung clearly in my ears, as I imagined her sitting next to me. "I wish you hadn't seen me that way, I mean I don't care that you saw me naked, I just hate that I was so exposed. They left me there like so much meat."

"They?" I opened my eyes and turned to look at where the voice was coming from. Instead I found Leah who was looking at me strangely. I shook my head and turned back towards Mr. Weber who hadn't noticed my interruption.

I closed my eyes again in the hope that Olivia would reappear to me, but nothing came. I lowered my head, and continued to block out the words, I didn't want to hear them. No matter how heart felt they were. Eventually everyone began to stir, and I looked back up to see that the service was over. I got up with the rest of my family, and looked around at the faces. Lauren and Jessica were both there, but they were on opposite sides of the Church. Jessica's face was tear stained, a wadded up bunch of Kleenex in her hand. Lauren was dry eyed, and looking bored. It made me wonder if possibly Jessica was regretting her choices. If she made a move to apologize I would accept her back.

Then I spotted the Cullen's in all their glory. Dressed to the nines, with all the siblings looking absolutely amazing. Doctor Cullen and his wife were both very handsome, age had been kind to both of them, but Doctor Cullen's hair was starting to go white around the temples, and the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes made him look tired. Edward Cullen in particular stood out, his gorgeous Italian suit complimenting his eyes and perfectly quaffed hair. Still he did at least look concerned, as much for the people around him, as he did for Olivia. I noticed him looking at the Thorne family with sympathy on his face more than once. Maybe the impression I got of him initially was just a bad one. Both he and the rest of his family seemed genuinely upset.

Angela and her new step-family all looked tight knit, and I could see where Tara got her looks. Her mother Megan was stunning, easily the prettiest woman in the room, and her youngest daughter Nora was almost as lovely as Tara. Yet even though they were beautiful and rich, they didn't flaunt their wealth. They were dressed simply, yet elegantly, but not so finely that they stood out more than they would normally.

Then my eyes feel on Alice. Her white hair, and stark white outfit stood out in a sea of black. She was standing alone against the far right wall, and was staring at the picture of Olivia. She didn't seem sad, she seemed angry. I knew in that moment I needed to know why. She was the only one that seemed to feel like I did, but I lost her in the mass exodus. I quickly made my way outside, and spotted her walking away, generally towards town.

"Leah, cover for me." Leah gave me a strange look, but nodded as I took off after the relative stranger. I kicked off my heels and ran barefoot through the grass towards Alice, trying desperately not draw too much attention to myself. "Alice." I said as I got within ear shot. She stopped, but didn't turn around.

"I'm sorry for your friend, but I'm not in the mood to talk about feelings." Alice said bluntly.

"What about anger?" I threw back feeling that same surge of anger as before. She turned towards me, and examined my face for several moments before responding.

"Anger is dangerous, I would suggest you don't give into it." It wasn't the response I expected, and I was momentarily taken aback by her.

We stood in silence for several long awkward seconds before I figured out how to respond. "I have to find him, them. I think there might be more than one."

"Did Olivia tell you that?" She said confusing me even more. I blinked at her, and opened my mouth a few times like a fish. The right side of her mouth curled up into a mysterious half smile. "Ignore me, everyone else does."

"I... I love the dress. Why white?" I said because I couldn't think of anything else.

"White means death in some cultures, black means life. Since I wear black most of the time, it seemed fitting." Her smile widened, and I couldn't help but smile back at her. Then she sighed, "your family is staring at you. Don't worry, if you like we'll talk again soon. Until later... Gypsy." I turned to check to see if she was right, and in fact Charlie was standing at the top of the small hill, his expression one of concern and mild irritation as he glared down at me. When I turned back to her, she had already made it to the sidewalk and was getting further and further away from me. I felt mildly torn, I wanted to follow her, even if it didn't make sense to. In the end though I turned back and joined my father.

"Is everything okay?" He was concerned, and I winced because I figured that this would be his normal response anytime I was out of his sight for more than thirty seconds, at least for the foreseeable future. Again I was hit by the idea that he was still reeling from the thought that he might have lost me, that possibility seemed to have struck a rather deep chord.

"Sorry, she seemed really upset and I wanted to make sure she was alright. It wasn't like I was flirting dad." The white lie didn't feel that wrong, but I regretted it as I said it. I tried to put levity in my voice with the final statement, trying to get a smile out of him. He looked like he tried to go with the humor, but I only got a faint halfhearted smile from him.

"The Thorne's invited us to the private graveside service, we need to hurry if we're going to go." I felt a twinge of guilt, and nodded emphatically, touched they would include us. The drive to the cemetery was longer than I expected, and I felt nervous as we got closer. This was goodbye, a real goodbye. It dawned on me as we drove through the gates that I wasn't ready to say my goodbyes to her. I wasn't ready to let go, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Olivia was gone, and we all had to live with that loss.

The gravestone was simple, and fit her personality completely. We all stood in the surprisingly bright sunlight of the clearest day I'd ever seen this late in the year in Forks. Everyone waited while Mr. Weber made another short speech, and then the family all spoke. Then he asked if her friends wanted to say something. Angela gave a heartfelt goodbye. Georgia, one of the group that I hadn't technically met yet, but remembered from elementary school, sang a short song. Her voice was really special, and the song choice would've made Olivia smile. At least it would've five years ago when I knew her. There were a few more people that chose not to speak, Olivia's boyfriend Eric who was a bit of a wreck, and Mike who was crying but was trying not to look like he was. Angela's step-sisters Tara and Nora both spoke briefly about how they never felt left out, and how Olivia accepted them into the circle without hesitation. Then finally Mr. Weber's wife Megan who had been stoic about the whole thing, stood up and read one of the most beautiful poems I'd ever heard.

Then it was my turn, and I was at a loss. Leah seeing me choke, stepped up and started to speak, to give me a few more moments to think. "Livy was something special. She couldn't keep a secret, but she never lied. She was always happy to see you, no matter what mood you were in, and I think she was one of the prettiest people I've ever known. I wish I'd been a better friend to her, and I know I'll miss her in the moments where she'd say something to brighten my mood. Goodbye Olivia." Leah was crying, and stepped back to give me the spotlight a bit sooner than I was ready for. All eyes were on me, and for a second I felt overwhelmed by that, but I pushed those emotions down and cleared my throat.

"I've been gone a long time, nearly a third of our lives. Yesterday morning I had a chance to interact with Olivia, to reconnect. Looking back on it, it was far too short. I lost her before I had a chance to get her back, and I don't know how to deal with that. No one our age should be gone like this, it's not natural. I could say a few platitudes, of how I'll miss her, and how the world is a little darker because she's gone, and they would all be honest. The world is darker now, and I will miss her terribly, but this isn't about me. This is about all of us. Livy is gone, she hopefully feels no pain, and has no regrets. For us though, she is just a collection of shared memories, dreams, and pictures. A catalog of things that made her stand out, and she did stand out. She was special, and funny, and also a victim. She won't be remembered because of her smile, or her fashion sense. She'll be remembered because of him. Because of the fucking monster that took her from us, and there is no way I'm going to let that be it for her. I'm not going to stand by and have her be just another face on a white board, another statistic to be forgotten. Olivia deserves more..." I stopped and looked around, everyone was staring at me wide eyed. "I... I've said too much haven't I? I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." I turned and ran from the grave site, feeling embarrassed and furious with the world. I ran and ran, and didn't look back once, even when I heard people shouting my name. I didn't stop until I made it home, and I was in my room with the door shut.

I dove onto my bed and punched at my pillow, screaming in frustration, because I knew deep down I couldn't keep that promise I'd just made. I was just a teenager, how could I possibly stop something so big? How could I do anything but wait helplessly for news about that FBI catching the killer, even though it was news that might never come?

Where could I even begin to look for the killer, and was Alice right? Was it too dangerous to try? I buried my face in my pillow and waited like that until my family came home, because I didn't want to face the truth, Olivia was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it.

* * *

**Post Script Notes: **

**1. All new chapter. There is a total of one paragraph in this chapter that I pulled from the stuff written before. This is the first true step in the new direction of the story. For those of you that followed the story before, I hope this new chapter illuminates a little how big a change we're making moving forward.**

**2. *Updated 6/7* I won't answer any questions about Alice, and I won't go into details about my plans for her role in the story either. I will say that I think she's going to be a lot of fun, and very different from any version I've attempted before. *One more thing. Megan, Tara, and Nora are in the story because I really liked those characters from my original version of this story. However, they are different. For one they are mortal, and two Alice is not a part of their family*.**

**3. Before anyone asks, the Cullen's are not vampires. They are very human. It was a change in direction I struggled with, but ultimately I liked the idea of having most of the characters mortal. There very much is a supernatural element to the story, so it isn't an all-human story by a long shot.**

**4. The central mystery won't necessarily be a mystery to you guys, I'm not quite confident enough in plotting to come up with that tight a mystery. I will try though, hopefully I'll be able to keep you guys guessing for a while.**

**5. Kat's Corner: Now that this fic is going in a different direction it ought to be really interesting. Trust me the interactions are going to be an absolute blast. Samantha has kept the best of what's happened so far and scrolled it back so that it takes advantage of the characters. This is all AU, so throw everything you know away and join us! I hope you enjoy it as much as i have! One last note, Samantha might not answer questions, but i'm totes susceptible to bribes. Preferably in the form of large denominations. Or chocolate covered pretzels. **

**6. Pops a chocolate covered pretzel in Kat's mouth to keep her quiet. Move along, no information here.**

**7. Home by Twilight and Nyx's Reincarnation, thank you guys for being so faithful in reading our stuff. Every review makes this worth while for me, but I love the consistent and thoughtful reviews the most!**

**Next up - Busy Making Other Plans (tentative title): **Bella has to move on and start school again. She settles into her new/old group of friends, and faces how big of an impact Olivia's death had on everyone else.


	4. Questions Without Answers

**Chapter Four: Questions Without Answers**

_- Isabella Marie Swan, 17 years old_

_Thursday, September 5th_

_"It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm. We can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable'. Oh well, the devil makes us sin. But we like it when we're spinning in his grip." - Massive Attack_

I woke up many hours later feeling absolutely horrid. I was still on my bed, face down into my pillow, with my funeral clothes on. Had I just passed out? I couldn't remember. All I knew was that somehow, I felt more drained and weary than when I passed out initially. It also made me realize that, at that moment, I felt quite dirty. It was as if I was covered in grime. I wasted no time in taking off the black dress, and then I practically ripped off the nylons and underwear before retreating into the bathroom. Then I turned on the shower to full blast as hot as it would go and jumped right in without even checking the temperature of the water. Of course I also didn't give the shower time to warm up, so I ended up being doused with ice cold water.

That woke me right up. It didn't magically erase my weariness, but it did give me a bit more mental clarity. The water gradually warmed up until it was pure hot water coming out. I let the scalding hot water pound down on me for a few seconds before it hurt too much to handle, and I was forced to turn on the cold water and bring it to something moderate. Even the moderate warmth helped though, it felt a bit like I was washing away the pain along with the dirt, both real and imagined, from being near an open grave.

When I stepped out, I was marginally surprised to see that the mirror was still on the wall, which was probably because it wasn't quite as bad as I originally thought it was. Sure it had two massive cracks, and several smaller ones, but for the most part it looked almost intentional. Like some post modern design choice. I carefully wiped the steam off the mirror, and cracked my door a few inches so it wouldn't immediately fog back up.

I stared at the spectre in the mirror for several long moments. My face looked gaunt and a bit hollow. Dark circles under my eyes highlighted how wrung out I was, and the look of total desolation on my face hammered home just how hard I had been hit. I blew my nose, pulled a brush mercilessly through my tangled hair a few times, and then quickly put it up into a utilitarian ponytail. Then I wondered back into my room and got dressed in the most comfortable clothes I owned. The tee-shirt and sweats were both light colors, the top a light blue, and the sweats, grey. I'd had them and worn them for so many years that the logos that once adorned them, were long since faded to dots of indistinguishable color.

Then I trudged downstairs, and tried not to make my footfalls betray my mood. Heavy clomps would make it seem like I was pouting or angry, which was in fact true, but I didn't want to seem that way. My goal for the evening was to try and reach out to my friends. I needed to find Angela and... I stopped halfway down the steps and stood in shock. Not friends. Friend, singular. With Lauren and Jessica in a totally different group, and Olivia dead, all I had left was Angela.

Leah was in a category of her own. She was my sister, she would always be a part of my life, but the friends I thought would always be there were mostly gone. I closed my eyes, clenched my jaw a few times to hold back the sadness, and pushed down the stairs determined to get past my misery. I made it to the dining room where I found no one. I looked around for the first time and only then realized how dark it was, and checked the time, 3:37am. I'd gotten my wish, I was up before everyone else, by at least two hours.

I sat at the dining room table, and rested my chin in my hands. When I woke up, I thought it was dark because I'd slept a few hours. No, it was dark because I'd slept through the day and continued through most of the night. I'd be lucky if this didn't fuck up my entire sleep cycle for the next few days. Not that it was the end of the world, just frustrating to try and force sleep when you're wide awake.

With a sigh I got up from my seat after a few minutes and made coffee, then a bagel because I was starving. I'd taken about four bites when someone cleared their throat behind me. I spun around and found my father, a pack of cigarettes in his right hand. His usually well groomed hair was now bird's nest, twisted and sticking out in every direction. I held in my laugh, but it was hard. He looked absurd.

"Hey Bells, you're up a bit early. Or is it late? Keep me company?" He spoke quietly, but his tone had a underlying hint of irritation, as he motioned with his eyes towards the back porch. It wasn't so much a question as a request.

"Sure, there's coffee if you need some." I said with a shrug as I poured cream and sugar into my mug, because I wasn't feeling much like black at the moment. It felt too much like my mood. Then I set it down and went out into the living room to grab the quilt my grandmother made for me when I was a baby. I'd let Dad keep it when I moved away, so he could have something of me around all the time. Not that he asked for it, which was something he would never do. I just saw his expression in unguarded moments when I'd been packing up to leave, and knew I had to leave something behind.

When I picked it up and hugged it around me, I remembered how much I loved it. The faded purple and blue and red squares each had a distinct pattern with white trim which showed up as the primary color when reversed. The pattern alternated in a six by nine checkerboard, which when it was laid out, covered a queen sized bed. We headed out to the porch, and I was thankful I'd grabbed it. The cool September air made me shiver. I pulled the quilt tightly around me, and was happy to be reminded how deceptively warm it was, despite the fact that it was relatively thin.

"That was quite a speech." He said after a minute of staring out at the forest edging the back of the property.

"It just came out. I didn't exactly plan it. You know how I get when I'm angry, my mouth runs ahead of my mind." I didn't look up to see his reaction, but when he wrapped an arm around my shoulders I nearly sighed in relief. My Dad wasn't usually one for physical affection, but he always had a knack for knowing when it was needed.

I felt it in the shake of his body, more than I heard it when he chuckled softly. "Yeah. At least you can say you came by that trait honestly. Runs in my side of the family."

"It practically gallops." I replied, quoting an old movie we'd enjoyed watching when I was younger, which caused a small smile to flash across his face and I knew he'd gotten the reference.

Silence descended as we stared out at the darkness before I spoke up again. "Thanks for letting me sleep."

"We all decided you probably needed rest more than anything else." He said with a slight shrug.

"Well I appreciate it. I hadn't even intended to fall asleep, I just did. I was serious about what I said tod… yesterday, though. Even if it takes a decade, I won't let Olivia be just another statistic. I don't want her life to be defined by some monster that took her away from us. She deserved more than that" I still couldn't quite meet his eyes, but I did attempt to glance at him.

He was staring at his cigarettes. "Go ahead, mom smoked nearly a pack a day towards the end. Phil hated it."

"I... if you're sure you don't mind." He said with a bit of a hopeful grin. I shook my head, and he immediately lit up. I took a big swig of now rapidly cooling coffee, and sighed heavily. I didn't know what I was going to do next.

"I don't like it Bella, this guy is dangerous." Charlie said after a few more minutes. I finally looked directly at him, but he was staring down into the twisting smoke coming off the end of his cigarette.

"Guys, I think there's two of them." I said after a moment, I looked away and out towards the darkened forest. Somehow the deep shadows formed behind the first row of trees, seemed to be an abyss calling out to me. Or maybe it was just my imagination, because I couldn't handle the helpless expression on his face.

"That's unlikely. This kind of killer tends to be solitary, he might have a family, but I doubt he's working with anyone else." He spoke with authority, even though he kept his voice relatively quiet.

He took another drag, and exhaled heavily. The cool air making the plume of white exiting his mouth look massive. "Why do you think... no I can't indulge you in this. You really need to drop it. We don't even know how he picks his victims. So you can't draw his attention, what if he targets you next? I can't lose you too."

I could hear him tearing up, and I couldn't face it. He was right, it was far too dangerous. Yet, was I any safer just sitting around? Olivia didn't do anything wrong, except that she must have trusted the wrong person. There was no way to know if the killer (or killers) would target me anyway. I couldn't just wait, I couldn't just sit idly by and let others take the risks. Hell, I could've been on a path that led to my death the moment I stepped off the plane in Seattle. I simply couldn't let '_what if's_' dictate my actions. At the same time though, I knew I'd probably be the cause of a great many more sleepless nights for Dad, if he thought I was drawing attention to myself. So that meant I had to lie, I had to pretend to back off. It made me feel a little ill to do that, I hated lying.

"You're right. I don't like it, but you're right. I shouldn't get involved." He turned to look at me with narrowed eyes, but nodded once when I gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm serious Bella, I don't want you to even try to go after this guy." He repeated, trying to use his voice to really drive home that it wasn't a request.

"I promise, I won't. I will just try and figure out how to move on. Speaking of which, I think I'm gonna head over to Angela's today. Maybe I'll drag Leah and Seth along." I said in an attempt to change the subject.

He nodded, and in that moment I realized that it didn't matter what the topic. If it was something he didn't want to talk about, he would always be willing to switch to something else. I almost frowned, I wondered if I had forced myself to listen to fishing stories for years when there was another alternative, one that could've saved me from hours of fishing lectures.

"That's probably a good idea. Angela was practically demanding to come back and check on you after the service. Leah managed to calm her down, but I doubt she'll stay away for long. Oh, that reminds me, who were you talking to yesterday, the girl in white? Is she a student?" He furrowed his brow a little, he hated asking probing questions for the most part. Which always struck me as ironic, given his chosen career.

"Her name is Alice, and I didn't expect to see her there. She's apparently relatively new, and a bit of an outsider around school. Like I said yesterday she seemed upset, so I asked her how well she knew Olivia." It was a bit of a lie, but one I was okay with. It was also the second time I'd lied to him about her, and I was struck with a feeling it was going to be something I would do a lot in the future.

"Oh, well... that's fine. Is she someone your... never mind that's none of my business. Watch out though, or she'll lead you through the looking glass." Charlie grinned and gave me a playful look. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Nice, you remembered." He had tried to read to me when I was young, and first book he attempted was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. We got through it, but it was hard for him.

"Hard to forget." He said with a half smile. I could see the old frustration in his eyes, he hated how bizarre the story was, but since I loved it he kept going. Somehow even though I was only five, I knew that he couldn't do it twice. So I kept the book and re-read it on my own several times. I could still recite Jabberwocky from memory.

"You should get back to bed Dad, we don't want Sue to worry. I'll make breakfast, I even have time to do something extravagant." I offered while standing and motioning for him to do the same.

He nodded and flicked the cigarette down into a metal pail that seemed to be a makeshift ashtray, before nudging the pail to the side with his foot. After one final brief squeeze around my shoulders he murmured "Night Bells." Then he went inside and upstairs, careful to keep from making too much noise, though I did hear the bathroom door open and the sink run.

I smirked to myself, my guess was that he was using mouthwash to get rid of the smoke smell so it didn't bother Sue. Breaking myself out of my musing, I looked around the kitchen for a plan. I found English muffins, and eggs, and something resembling ham, so I decided on eggs Benedict, with a side of freshly cut berries.

But I knew I couldn't start too early, so I had some time to kill. I wandered around the living room for a few minutes, before I gave up and went upstairs by tiptoe to retrieve my laptop. It was a beaten up old thing, and I knew I had to get a new one sooner rather than later, but I was dreading transferring all my games, programs, music, and files to yet another new computer. I'm not a geek by any stretch, but I like my electronics fast, and comfortable. It's one of my quirks, and I get a little uptight when other people use my computer. So I have a profile set up for anyone to use, that has absolutely no privileges enabled. That way I don't have to spend two hours redoing my preferred settings and specifications every time someone uses my system.

Thankfully the family had opted for a wireless router, and had the password taped to the bottom of it, otherwise I'd have just started up one of the many games I had, and gotten sucked up in finishing up one achievement or another. Instead I opened up a web-browser and typed in a search for the Seattle Slayer before I even realized I was doing it.

Way too many hits, literally hundreds of pages of articles linked to newspapers websites, I had to be picky where I looked. I ended up finding a few strange little blogs about serial killers, and one fan site that tried to predict the location of the next victim. _That_ gave me the creeps, and I quickly left it with a shudder. However, most of the public information was the same, although one detail did stand out at me. Blood, or the lack of it. There were very limited details about the crime scenes, but from testimonies from several people that found the bodies, one reoccurring fact that kept cropping up was that there was never any blood found on the scene.

I trembled a little as I closed my eyes, and tried to think back to the moment I found her. One thing I remembered vividly, was how much blood was at the scene. It was the darkness around her legs that drew my attention, because the bottom quarter inch of her legs were stained red. She was sitting in a pool of blood. I had to choke down the bile that rose up in my throat, and gulped down a large swallow of cold coffee to keep it down. It wasn't her body, or even the fact that she had no tongue or eyes, it was just how lifeless she was.

Her black hair looked drab, and her limbs were so limp that she looked like a rag doll. She almost looked fake, like one of those dummy's used on crime or medical shows in place of actors playing dead bodies. I looked back at the news, and realized I had overlooked Olivia's headlines from the local stuff I'd missed while I was asleep.

"FBI declares Forks homicide a copycat murder. No more leads in Slayer case."

I closed my computer down in disgust. One whole day of investigation, that's all she got. They had already given up the search, at least at the federal level. Which meant her murder would fall back down to Fork's PD. To Dad. No wonder he was so adamant that I keep away from the case.

I put the computer on the buffet table on the far side of the dining room and went into the kitchen to get breakfast ready. I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold my tongue, my only thought was that he was out of the loop. I didn't want to think about the idea that he was lying to me. My anger came through in the whisk as I tried twice to get a good hollandaise sauce. The failures left me with just the five eggs needed to serve the meal, I'd totally fucked up my plan.

So, I made pancakes. At least I could have a sugar rush, on top of my four cups of coffee.

Charlie came and went, pretty quickly, having been called into the station for some reason. I tried to keep in my frustration with him, he didn't need my mood to color his day. Still he did wolf down a short stack like he was starving, and gave me a goofy grin of approval. Seth even managed a grudging smile at the food. Sue gave me a kiss on the top of the head as she headed to work. Leah had a bagel, because much to my chagrin, she hated sweet foods for breakfast.

After the three of us cleared down breakfast I had to grab Seth by the shoulder to keep him from running off.

"Hey, not so fast." I said holding his shoulder with a grip that conveyed my insistence. He glared at my hand for a long second before sighing slightly and turning towards me.

"What?" He still had a bit of fear in his eyes, the same fear I saw on his face the night before when he confessed how lost he was. Except his anger had come back as well. I frowned, and let him go.

"Just thought we could all hang out today. You know, since I've been back for four days and there's already been a funeral. Which I'm totally going to play the card that it's the second one I've been to in as many weeks." I gave him a soft, slightly smug smile, mostly to make it clear that I was teasing, at least a little bit. It worked. He rolled his eyes in exaggerated frustration.

"You only get one of those cards." He tried to quip back.

"I get as many of those as I like. I'm the eldest. I make the rules." I said with a full smirk. It wasn't much, but it was a start, and was probably the most civil thing he'd said to anyone since I'd returned.

Leah covered her surprise with a snort of mirth at my follow-up comment. "By what, three months? Still she has a point, you could make an effort runt." Leah's approach left something to be desired, and I could see Seth tensing up at the casual sibling insult. Then he relaxed, and I realized it was a smarter move than I'd given her credit for. He would have been much more sensitive if she'd commented on the re-emergence of something in his attitude besides scorn and ridicule. This was a dynamic I'd have to get used to, at least for the year I had left in school.

"You're shorter than me. If I'm a runt does that make you a midg..." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he stopped in mid-sentence and tried to cover his misstep with a cough that fooled no-one.

"That's right, big bad Bella will waffle stomp you." Leah teased, and I looked back at her with a lopsided frown.

"Really?" I mouthed at her.

"What? I saw what happened the other night. You move like you've done that lock a hundred times. Remember my room is the other one that looks out over the back yard." Leah grinned, and Seth scoffed at her with an embarrassed laugh that didn't convince anyone. That's when he realized how ineffective his ploys were, and suddenly looked very uncomfortable. He puffed up a little in an attempt at false bravado

"Right like she could really take me." I looked back at him, the situation was devolving quickly, and I wasn't quite sure how to recover it. One sure way to piss off a guy was to be mocked for his inadequate masculinity. Not that Seth was physically weak, he just lacked my training.

"No you couldn't. Charlie put me in Karate when I was seven, and I've been training with various... teachers since then. To put it in layman's terms, I'm a third degree black belt, and yes I could take you in a second. That doesn't mean I have any desire to do so, nor do I think with sufficient training you couldn't eventually match me." I didn't want to rub salt in the wounds but false humility and weakness was SO not me, so I made my voice strong and authoritative so that he wouldn't have any doubt that I was being sincere. Seth's shoulders slumped, and then he straightened up and cleared his throat a little. I could tell he was about to escalate the argument. So I did the only thing I could think of.

"Of course that desire may change if someone denies me my morning coffee like you did the other day." I said, turning my attention to Leah. "Then there may be a 'waffle stomping' and I can just plead temporary insanity." I was rewarded with a slightly startled look from Leah, and a grin from Seth which cut off his tirade before it got started. I figured as long as he wasn't the only one on the receiving end, he would be much more comfortable with being teased.

"Oh... kay! I think I'm just gonna go hang out with Monty. He's been on me since yesterday for details about why you were covered in blood." He said trying to regain his composure.

"Sounds like a great guy." I said letting my sarcasm come through, and I almost winced when I said it. I didn't want to insult his friends, it was not a good way to ingratiate myself to him.

"He's an ass, but he has a PS3." He said with a shrug. I held back a bit of a sigh, it seemed as if at least that friend was fair game. To cover my reaction I rolled my eyes at him, and glanced back at Leah who gave me a look that told me she had heard it all before.

"Wouldn't you rather spend the day with a bunch of girls? I mean Nora's gorgeous." I tried to make something that suddenly sounded like a really bad idea sound good. I pursed my lips, and furrowed my brow. "On second thought, go hang out with the donkey. But I'm totally cashing in the hang out card very soon." Seth looked slightly indecisive for a moment, then he took a deep breath and nodded once more, before turning to head out of the house.

I sighed and watched him go. "That could've gone better." I said quietly, mostly to myself.

"Yup, but at least he isn't yelling anymore. So maybe you got through to him. Hell, at least he's hanging out with Monty. His other two friends, Chris and Bob are way worse. Chris is a pot head, and I'm pretty sure Bob does the hard stuff, and likes to steal. Last time he hung out with Chris he disappeared for two days and ended up in a Port Angeles jail for shop lifting and underage drinking. Mom about blew a gasket." I winced. Monty was sounding better by the moment.

"Maybe we should've dragged him with us?" I said having doubts.

"Nah, he'll end up there until tomorrow but at least Monty's parents will force Seth to call home. They're pretty cool. So, we're going to Angela's. Thanks for asking." I turned from the door, which I realized I was still staring at in a strange attempt to force Seth to reappear. I frowned, I hadn't realized I'd volunteered her.

"Um, you don't have to go." I said feeling a little sheepish.

"Yeah I do. Tara would be pissed if I didn't show up. She's always trying to 'drag me out of my shell', and get me more involved with the group." She let a small smile cross her lips when she said Tara's name, and I had to stifle my own smile of approval. I'm not even sure that Leah knew that the expression that crossed her face. From our brief interaction, Tara seemed like a genuinely nice person, and I wanted Leah to be happy.

"I don't want to sound pushy, but is there something there?" I risked the question, because I could feel Leah was receptive to it. She actually blushed and shook her head.

"No, Tara's just a friend. What about you and the goth chick? Alice? You kind of freaked Charlie out when you went running after her yesterday. You work fast." She said with a sly smile.

"Nice deflection." I smirked at her, and she grinned with satisfaction.

I shrugged a little bit when it was clear she was hoping for more of an answer. I wasn't ever one to pussyfoot around or play coy games. "Honestly, I have absolutely no idea. I'm not one of those people who falls head over heels from just looking at a pair of nice eyes, or a pretty face. I mean she's smart and funny, and… interesting. A march to her own drummer sort. But I couldn't even tell you if she would be interested in me. The only other person I found even marginally my type was Edward Cullen, who seems to be a bit of an ass, which negates the fact that he's very pretty."

"Oh, Edward doesn't date. So you are probably wasting your time there, especially since you're right, he is an ass. Anyway, given your tastes I'm surprised Rosalie didn't catch your eye." Leah's eyes narrowed in a frown. "You haven't met Rosalie yet have you?"

I raised an eyebrow in curiosity and I shook my head with a slight shrug. "Just at the church yesterday, and I didn't meet her, I caught a brief glimpse of her... I think. I wasn't really paying attention to her at all. She seemed pretty." I said offhand as I thought back to the funeral. I remembered glancing at the well dressed family, but she didn't stand out to me. Of course I was distracted by other stuff, including Alice, so maybe I wasn't seeing her clearly. I shrugged again.

"Eh, well when school starts up again I'll introduce you two, I think you'll hit it off. Rose is... tough." She seemed to search for the right word for longer than I would've thought she would need to describe anyone.

"That's... interesting. I'm looking forward to meeting her." I started up towards my room to get ready and grab my cell. Leah nodded once and turned to open the fridge. I kept in my sigh, which was starting to feel like a bad habit. If I had gotten my Eggs Benedict done right she wouldn't have had to forage at all.

When I got upstairs, I found I had one missed call, and two text messages. The texts were from Angela saying she wanted to drop by later, then one asking when a good time would be. The call was from Alice, although she didn't leave a voice message. I frowned, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. A part of me wanted to call Alice, but I'd already made up my mind to hang out with Angela for the day.

My thumb pressed the alert box for Alice's call first, my thought was to delete it, instead I hit talk. The other end rang a total of three times before a sultry voice picked up on the other end.

"Hello Gypsy." I had no idea how she did it, but just hearing her call me that sent a tingle down my spine to places I usually reserved for a third date. Okay, so even saying hello, the girl had a voice that phone sex operators would have paid through the teeth for.

"Hey, so... you called?" I didn't know what else to say, and my voice came across as awkward and harsh sounding to my ears, especially in comparison to hers.

"I was worried about you. How're you doing?" She asked with a tone of voice that made me want to answer. I found myself blushing. She was good. I wondered idly if she consciously knew how to play on emotions as if they were strings plucked by a skilled guitarist, or if it was just a natural talent.

"I'm fine I think. Do... do you wanna come over and hang out with me today?" I bit my lower lip in anticipation. I had no idea if I was being too forward.

"Perhaps, will it just be us?" Although she kept the question relatively neutral, I got the distinct implication that she was hoping for a yes.

"Um, no. Leah and Angela will probably be here." My reply came out sounding more disappointed than I thought I felt. I chuckled to myself, because in that instant I realized that I was more infatuated with Alice than I had thought I was.

"Then I think I'll pass. Your friends are nice, but I have no interest in broadening my social circle beyond you right now." She didn't sound disappointed, but she obviously wasn't happy about rejecting my offer.

"Another time maybe? I doubt we're having school for the rest of the week... which is basically just tomorrow. So tomorrow?" I offered, although I wasn't exactly sure what I was offering. Given my reactions to her voice, I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do though. I smiled in spite of myself.

"Sounds like a plan, although you might need to come here if you want to avoid family interference. I'll talk to you later Gypsy." She didn't give me a chance to respond, because as soon as she said my new nickname, her side of the call shut off. I pursed my lips in irritation, she was definitely strange. I stared at my phone for a moment, and jumped when it went off. I hit talk without looking at who was calling.

"Calling to apologize?" I said tersely, as irritated about being startled by the phone as I was about her hanging up on me.

"For what? Too many text messages? I only sent two." Angela seemed a little miffed, and I winced at being so cliché.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else, I didn't check the caller ID." I felt like one of those idiots trapped in a bad sitcom.

"All good, so I'm headed over now, is it too early?" I started to chuckle, and it carried across the phone. "What's so funny." She sounded irritated, but not angry.

I managed to control myself, although I could hear that my voice was affected by my smile. "Nothing, I was just debating whether it was too early to call you. So, yeah that's fine see you in a bit."

"Oh, okay. I'll see you soon. Bye-bye." I almost shut off my phone after she hung up, but instead I put it on vibrate.

* * *

Angela gave me a tight hug before even stepping over the threshold. At first I didn't quite know how to accept the affection, but after a moment I gave into the embrace. It felt good to have someone care about me so deeply despite my multi-year absence. She pulled away, and gave me a wide smile. She had really grown into her features, and her pleasant face made her smile seem to glow with kindness.

"So, on behalf of my entire family, thank you for that powerful display of emotions yesterday. Everyone was talking about your speech. Dad thinks you should get into public speaking." She said as she moved into the house tentatively. "So, is Seth here?" She played it off, but her face was alight with curiosity.

"No, he's over at one of his wasteoid friend's houses." Leah said as she lead us towards the kitchen.

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure he's doing alright after yesterday." Angela smiled tightly, concern written all over her face.

"What happened?" I asked feeling left out of something.

"Oh, nothing big. He got into a fight with Mike Newton at the funeral. Apparently Mike was being a prick about Olivia, they were exes, so he was probably just lashing out in grief, but you never know with Mike, he's generally just a jock-douche-bag type. Although given Jessica's expression, he probably got an earful later on. Or didn't get laid. One of the two. Probably just the former. She's a bit of a skank." Leah filled me in.

I was a bit lost on some of the finer details of the social dynamics but I was able to extrapolate well enough to follow along.

"Seth punched him though, that seems to be a bit bigger than just a disagreement." Angela suggested.

Leah shook her head, "I don't want to repeat it, but Mike crossed a line. He deserved it. Actually I bet Bella here would've done the same." Leah motioned towards me with a knowing smile and a wink. I rolled my eyes at her.

"I don't think I follow." Angela said looking between us.

"I mean, given how inappropriate and insensitive Mike was in saying that, Ms Ninja here with her decade of martial arts would've laid him out with one punch." Leah said with a slight hip nudge.

I frowned at her, and gave her a look that told her to lay off the whole subject. She nodded once, "Sorry, I just think it's a hoot. You don't look like you could hurt a fly, let alone put a jock meat head like Mike into a coma."

"What did he say?" I pushed back at her, trying to make it clear I wanted to move the other stuff aside.

"You sure?" She asked with a pensive look on her face, I nodded. "He said that... he said she was a whore who had it coming. That she wouldn't have even been in danger if she hadn't let any guy that looked at her into her pants."

I felt my face tighten, and my anger flare. She was right, I hadn't needed to hear that, if I had heard him say that, he would have been a coma patient. Liquid rage filled my veins and I felt every muscle in my body tighten.

"Bella... no!" The voice cracked like a whip as it came from behind Leah, and a shape seemed to coalesce behind her. A second later every light in the house turned on and the bulbs burst. I was totally startled. My anger momentarily disappeared, and I lost focus of the apparition for a moment. When I tried to look for it, it was gone. I tried to place the voice, and I realized it was Olivia's again. I went over to the couch and sat down. Angela and Leah stood in place for a few more minutes, completely stunned as they looked around the house at all the broken glass.

"What the fuck just happened?" Leah said after she'd managed to gather her wits. She sat across from me, curling up her legs and crossing her arms in a defensive posture. Angela sat next to me, and put an arm over my shoulders.

"Bella?" She said softly.

"I have no idea. That's never happened before. I think I'm going crazy." I whispered, putting my face in my hands.

"Tell me what's wrong." Angela's concern and soothing voice did manage to take the edge off my nerves.

"I heard Olivia in the church yesterday, and just now she screamed at me to stop. I was getting so angry, I felt like I was about to burst. Then..." I looked around and noticed the glass debris had vanished. I flinched, and stood up in confusion. "Did the light bulbs burst or was that just me?"

Leah and Angela looked around, and their expressions quickly changed from concern, back confusion as well. "So, again... what the fuck is going on?!" Leah yelled in a voice a voice a bit louder than she clearly intended to use. Fear punctuated her words this time, and I was right there with her. Had we all just had the same hallucination?

I sat back down and turned on the TV, I needed a distraction. It was set to a local channel, and the headline drew my attention. I scrambled to find the mute button so I could hear what the reporter was saying.

"... body was found at a little past 9 am pacific time. Police are still holding back the name of the victim, but the Forks Chief of Police, Charles Swan will be making a statement shortly about the situation. Once again, an unidentified teenage girl was found this morning, apparently a victim of the same killer that's been stalking Seattle for the past year. We'll have more on this as details are released."

I pressed power, with a trembling finger. Was I delusional? Was I seeing ghosts? Did this have to do with the killer? I stared at the black screen for a long time, until Leah got up and headed out to the back patio. Angela stayed for a moment, until it was clear I wasn't going to snap out of my daze, then she followed her.

"They'll catch him." Angela muttered as she walked away, probably in an attempt to give me some kind of hope, although I could tell she didn't believe it either.

I looked around blankly, and in that instant I realized that I needed to know more about what happened, so I got up, grabbed my coat and headed out to Madeline. I didn't say anything to the other two, nor did I wait for either of them. Maddy started up easily, and I was headed into town before I had put any thought as to what I was going to do when I got there. I think I heard Leah's voice as I drove off but I wasn't going to stop to find out what she wanted, or to let her stop me.

I ended up behind a white van that was clearly attached to some new organization, so I turned to follow it. It lead me back towards the school, but turned into the coffee shop where I bumped into Olivia that first day back. I parked half a block away and walked towards the gathered crowd in the rain, which had just started to pick up.

A trio of men garbed in white plastic suits were going over an area with brushes and spray bottles. Evidence markers were scattered everywhere. The body was already gone, but there was a clear line that delineated where she had been propped up against the brick wall on the long side of the building. That was the space designated to employee parking, and there was only one car there.

Ten cops were controlling the scene which had gotten rather chaotic. A dozen reporters from all over the area had gathered behind the police line, as well as a growing crowd of bystanders. Among them were two of the Cullen's, Edward and Rosalie. My dad was talking to two well dressed women and a tall dark haired man with strangely colored eyes. The two women I immediately recognized as Agent Merchant, and the Mayor, Esme Cullen.

The man seemed to be an outsider, given the body language coming from my father and Agent Merchant. Ella in particular looked a little put out about his presence, as if he was an unexpected irritation. I kept my distance from the crowd, but managed to catch my father's attention. After a few minutes Charlie came over with a heavy scowl on his face. "Bella, what are you doing here?" He was very pissed, and I didn't really have an explanation.

"I don't know, I saw the news and I had to come. Who was it?" I asked him in a whisper, I didn't want anyone else to hear me, although a couple of reporters had already taken notice of the two of us talking.

"You know I can't tell you that. Her parents don't even know yet. I'll be home late tonight, why don't you head over to Sue's office, its right over there." He motioned towards one of the larger buildings in town, all of five stories tall. It was an office building where Sue's law practice was located. I nodded absently, recognizing from his tone that arguing wasn't going to get anything more from him, so I turned away. I was halfway there when someone came up beside me.

"Bella." I looked to my right, and found Agent Merchant walking next to me without actually looking in my direction.

"Agent... Ella. Nice to see you again, sort of. I thought the FBI left to go back to Seattle?" I sounded kind of hallow. Too much death, that had to be it.

"I had a puddle jumper scheduled for this afternoon out of Port Angeles, my motel was local. What're you doing here?" She said with a touch of accusation. I looked over at her and gave her a look. "Sorry, force of habit."

"I saw the news, I needed to see. Was it him?" I asked hopeful for some kind of answers.

"I... shouldn't answer that. Can I ask you a question?" She sounded a bit lost, and that made me stop.

"Anything." I gave her a slight smile, I kind of liked her.

"Did you hear anything when you found Olivia? Voices, or maybe someone running?" I frowned, and sighed slightly. I closed my eyes and started to think back when she started to speak again, "I'm sorry, it's too soon, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, if it can help I can do it." I took a few deep breaths, and I really thought about it. Played through it all from the moment I entered the forest. There was nothing at first, and then something stood out. When I was coming around the bend in the trees, right before I saw her, thought I saw movement. That's why I thought someone was with her.

"Yes, I think there was someone there. Someone with her. They were gone before I could even see Olivia through the trees though." I met her eyes, and found my strength again as I spoke. The trembling that had been racking my body since watching the news report was gone, and I felt myself stand just a bit straighter. "The blood. That's why you thought it was a copycat. There was no blood this time?"

"I can't answer that, thank you Bella. You've been a great help." She turned and started to run back to the scene, and I could hear her say 'fuck' under her breath. I let my gaze follow her as she headed back towards the crime scene. Where I was startled to find the strange dark haired man staring right at me. I finally placed why his eyes looked strange, the shade of the reddish brown color looked artificial, as if he were wearing fantasy colored contacts. I tiled my head at him, and met his gaze. He looked for a few more seconds before turning to talk to a random uniformed cop.

I frowned at the curious moment, and began to turn around to head towards Sue's office, when I noticed the two Cullen's walking towards me on the opposite side of the street. They were deep in some sort of argument, but I couldn't make out their voices.

I watched them as subtly as I could manage, and I had to admit Leah was right; Rosalie was gorgeous, but in a different way from Tara. She had a world wariness to her crystal blue eyes, that gave them a lot of depth. I could tell from a glance that she'd seen a lot, and it had affected her deeply. Neither of them noticed me at first. Until Edward glanced around him and stopped. He smiled and diverted them across the street.

I felt a bit awkward just standing and waiting for them, but I did anyway. Edward's slightly smug smile from the my first day at school was replaced by a sympathetic one. Rosalie had a completely different expression. As soon as her eyes turned towards me, a slight smile curled at her full lips. I had to admit there was something there when I met her eyes. There was a longing in hers that I could feel. A connection of loss. She had known death, had faced it. I knew vaguely about her story, that she was orphaned, but until that moment I hadn't really processed that I'd gone through something similar.

"Bella, I guess curiosity got the better of you too?" Edward asked as he got within earshot. Then he held out a hand in greeting. I nodded and shook his hand firmly. "I don't know if you've met my sister Rosa."

"No I haven't had the pleasure." I held out my hand to her, and she took it with the same kind of firm grip I had given to Edward. Something clicked in her eyes, and I knew something about her right away. She knew how to handle herself, and it left me with the impression that was potentially dangerous.

"Bella? Is that short for something else?" She tilted her head and gave me a look of genuine curiosity.

"Isabella, although I haven't gone by that in years." I said casually. Edward smiled crookedly, and took an almost imperceptible step backwards.

"Would you mind to terribly if I called you Isabella?" She asked with a very pleasant smile.

"Not at all, but I should probably get going. It was nice to meet you Rosa, or should I call you Rosalie?" I grinned back at her, and she nodded once. I nodded towards Edward once again and started off towards Sue's building before stopping in my tracks.

"Is something wrong?" Edward asked from behind me. I shook my head, and turned back towards my car. I ignored the slightly strange looks they gave me as I walked past them. Then I totally tried to ignore the glare from my father, as I tried to sneak past the crime scene. Which should've been easy, because the crowd was beginning to get bigger, due to the fact that he was about to make his statement, but somehow he spotted me.

Once in my car, I had to navigate around the obstacle course of people and news vans in my way. It forced me to take a different route home than the one I would've normally taken. One that wound around the city limits. That extra time turned out to be a boon, when I realized that I needed time to clear my head, and to come up with a legitimate reason why I left Angela and Leah without a word. As I took in the wilderness passing me by, I felt something watching me. Maybe it was just my mood, but the forest had a foreboding feel to it. I shoved it aside, and turned into a convenience store with a franchise pizza parlor attached to it.

I got a bunch of snacks and drinks and a large pizza, before heading home with an elaborate lie. When I finally got home, Angela and Leah were both standing on the front porch under the awning with scowls on their faces. It was then that I realized I'd left my phone at home. I grimaced, and pulled out the bags and the pizza with a big grin.

"Thought we could use some comfort food, I hope I wasn't gone too long."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

**1. So it's been awhile. Sorry about the delay in getting out the next chapter. There was some story drama, which seems to be a frequent occurrence on this one, but that is basically solved.**

**2. There are a lot of things going on in the background, not all of them are seen by Bella. So it is occasionally hard to figure out exactly when and how she see's something. I will say that the serial killer plot is a big one, but it isn't the only plot in motion.**

**3. Homebytwilight and Ironic Angel, I want to specifically thank you both so much for your reviews because they were long and thoughtful. But I would be remiss to not thank everyone for their thoughts on this new direction. I hope this chapter is a good follow up. I'll try to get these out at more of a bi-weekly pace instead of monthly.**

**4. Kat's Corner: I don't have much, excellent chapter as the intrigue starts to build. Who's the most recent victim? DUN DUN DUN. Bonus points for anyone out there who can get the movie reference for the line about galloping.**

**5. Not much else to add, except please review, and we'll see you all soon with IAL 46.**

**Next up:** _Another One Bites the Dust_ - Bella has to go back to school, and realizes she's still lost there. Thankfully a few new friends make things easier on her.


End file.
